Took me a bit, but I caught up! Got this through Undiscovered (I think) and I've been pleasantly reading it ever since. I love the politics in this more than anything--the larger national ones, with Cedric against the Pha'dughnain, and the smaller, personal ones between the characters. Still trying to keep all the nationalities straight, but I think I've got it down now.

When you/if you revise, I would suggest going over the first few chapters--I think it's one of the most difficult things, to have to know all the intricacies of your own plot so that you can pace the story properly, dropping enough hints to keep the reader going without giving too much or two little. I think you give too little. I know that's vague and probably not very helpful, but I found myself confused for much of the first part of the story. A couple more lines about the different cultures and the grudges between them early on might be all that you need to make some of that clearer without giving away the secret fight of the Mummers, various character heritages, etc.

With that said, I think this is a really great story--it's broad and has an epic quality to it, and the addition of the Mummers especially made me really get into it. Nichara is an interesting character--she's a very jealous, selfish, spoiled girl and you've detailed that well throughout the entire story. I don't always like her, but it does seem like she's learning, finally, and that gives me some hope. She seems very dependent, and I'm never sure what her purpose is, who she's supposed to be--I don't think she knows either. That's an interesting journey to take in a story like this, so I'm looking forward to reading more about her.

And on a slightly related note... have you read any Guy Gavriel Kay by any chance?

Hmm... I like what you've done with the setting and the characters, but it's a bit confusing sometimes... maybe I just need to go back and reread it again. But otherwise, I like the tone of this!

This is an amazing story; it's not often that I find a story on fictionpress and read it all day, non-stop. And 44 chapters, no less! The plot is enthralling and suspensful, and every minute I was living vicariously through Nichara. I'm hoping to read the next installment soon (and crossing my fingers that Nichara manages to re-join Lochan, and hoping that they can finally be together :))

AH! You're back! I'm ecstatic.

I have to admit, I had to re-read some of the last chapters to plunge back into the new one. Anyway.

The comparison to corpses was macabre. And not just because they resembled corpses, but because strange, masked mummers are sort of mythical and creepy to begin with. The first scene is totally palpable with suspense. I can't say exactly what it is--a mixture of hurried dialog, concise but perfect descriptions, the point when she forgets her mask...I've said it before, but you have outstanding talent, a way of controlling your prose so finely and beautifully that it seems easy to read as thoughts. Or pictured like a movie.

Naphtali, sort of playing a mischievous Merlin character, always has such epic dialog.

I think you mean to capitalize Merrow about 3/4ths the way down.

Another confession: I'm a little lost with all the political intrigue. It's not because of lack of clarity on your part, but just because you've been away for awhile. Maybe a quick author's note would help?

*faery tragedy

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to review! I've been so busy and irresponsible. Anyway, this chapter was good. The breaks seemed to move the story along effortlessly without feeling too contrived. I liked the "paid mourners" comment; it made me think of ancient Egyptians who paid people to mourn for their dead. It gave the chapter a mystical, ancient feel. I liked the description of the queen. I could picture her perfectly. The confrontation between Nichara, Naphtali, and Juhana was pretty intense. I think you wrote it really well and convincingly. I'm excited to see where you'll go with this, especially since it's so intriguing right now. *faery tragedy

I like how you inject little details that show instead of tell, like the hoarseness of Calliope's voice. The talk between Naphtali and Nichara was certainly a bit...mysterious albeit surprising. You wrote the scene very well. It explained everything without giving everything away in a total frank, boring manner. "There is a little murderess in you" was such a great line! And the last line, like many of yours, certainly sets up a cliffhanger. I hope you write more soon! *faery tragedy

well this chapter was certainly worth the wait, finally some light was shed on what the mummers are and who Naphtali actually is, all in all a great chapter! Can't wait for the next chapter!! things are really starting to come together now.

Woo! A new chapter. I knew I could count on you :). The description of the physician blew me away. I expected you to mold her into the death-crone stereotype, but you didn't. Nice job. "Brushing past his wife..." was a precise simile, and it really worked there. Danikka's ignorance and stereotypes of the Marajan is neat too. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to being branded like that, and it shows what kind of superstitious people they are. Seren really gets on my nerves sometimes, but I guess that's what you intended lol. The latter part of the chapter was a little confusing, but I think the dream segment was sort of meant to be that way. Anyway, I don't have any complaints except that I hope you write more quickly! *faery tragedy

yeah an update so happy :D

but y does naphtali want to start a war?

and is daniyel the one that is dying?

u haven't and nachara interact with him in awhile
Well anyway great chapter, u awesome writer ^.^

wow that was a very eventful chapter, im shocked nichara would speak out like that but i was totally cheering her on!! why did naphtali not speak?? i dont really see how thats wise, the situation could have turned out differently. no masks in the performance is a interesting twist and we finally get see what naphtali looks like!

I'm looking forward to seeing how this is going to play out, whether they go to the Queen's court, anyway, or run away. And I like how the tension between Naphtali and the others is increasing.

A few typos:

"...her delicate-looking hands walling the eager child inside her mother’s protective circle." But I thought the child was a boy?

"They had escaped the unpleasantness of damp ground and stones that stones that snagged the threads." Just a couple repeated words in here.

"I’m not so all as these people..." = "tall"

"Her knees make a dull cracking sound as she stood up again." Tense confusion = "made"

Other than that, I didn't see anything. I hope you update again soon!

I like how one of the themes is really cemented in this chapter. And it's a good theme at that. Your writing is strong and magical as usual. I'm glad you're continuing this! *faery tragedy

interesting chapter, it was nice to finally understand why the mummer's don't seem to respect naphtali just cuz he hasnt shown his face to anyone, though i hope soon you'll reveal who is he what is past is all about, he's just too darn mysterious..lol!

Hmm. It doesn't look like I ever reviewed this, but better late than never, I suppose.

"Before they reached the wall, Naphtali gave haste instructions:" Do you mean "hasty instructions"?