The ending sent shivers down my spine. The conversation is excellent and very real, and I've noticed this in your other stories as well. It's important to bring out a character using his words as well as his actions.

A sweet short story, worthwhile, but not without its iniquities. I appreciate the fact that you chose to tell the story of a Catholic monk during the inquisition who had the courage to rebel against corrupt leaders.

I do have some nitpicks concerning the ending of your story. You say that the monks were "joining hands in a semicircle" when they prepared to pray. Now, holding hands while praying is a distinctly Protestant attitude. Catholic monks during the inquisition would never have done that. Also, you have the abbot quote the 23rd psalm in what sounds very much like the King James Version (the first Protestant version) of the bible. Watch out for things like that...if you are trying to create an atmosphere, you have to find out how things really were in those days.

The only slight grammatical errors I noticed were these:

"Dipping his pen into the ink, he hunched over the sheet of parchment stretched before once more and in calm, smooth strokes began to write." This is not neccisarily incorrect, it was just awkward. Perhaps you want to rephrase it?

“Yes brother Clement?” Des Vaux asked quietly. There should be a comma after "yes."

I know I criticized a lot, but I still do like this story. Your writing is excellent and I like your style. Best wishes!

Very beautiful piece. The first paragraph really illuminates the setting. But like a reviewer before me, I'd explain a bit more what the Cathars are--not in an author's note or anything, but cleverly inserted in the dialog. Nice job overall. *faery tragedy

WOW!! This is a brilliant piece, perfectly executed.

It's like as if I was present in the abbey, listening to the scratching of quill on parchment.

Excellent! *_~ Keep up the good work.

Wow. I really liked this. I appreciated the numerous quotations of scripture...not everyone can come up with the appropriate verses like that. The only thing I would suggest is that you explain a bit more who the Cathars are and how the monks are sheltering them. That part was a bit vague...I'm not sure I understood completely.