HAHAHAHA! This was well written, but I honestly couldn't stand the protagonist. There were a few typos throughout the story- i'd just re-read it to find them- but overall good mechanics. I thought that it was a bit difficult to get into, and the plot could've been a bit more developed... and the scene with the doctor was unrealistic. but, overall, good work.

Ahah, that pretty much defines the words 'aw **!' It was fun, simple, and well written. But maybe too well written. I think your obvious desire for perfection in grammar and spelling prevented you from really getting into whatever emotions you could have reached with a story like this. I'm not saying that spelling words improperly would help, but getting funky with some commas, or maybe having some fun with other grammatical nuances would spice things up a bit.

I liked Craig's character. Well no I didn't. But I liked the way he developed. Sorry to say it, but he was much more interesting than Jake. He was crass and annoying and, truthfully enough, all too real. He's the guy I hate to love, or love to hate. Either way he's pretty cool.

And if you have some spare time, maybe you could sink your teeth into some of my stuff? When I say 'sink your teeth' I'm pretty much serious, there are enough errors in one of my stories to excite you more than your fiance ever could. Keep up the good work! OMG U R SOO GOOD!

I'm in agreeance with Carther. Oh my God. That just ** sucks **. Not the story, but his sitatuation. I think you covered emotions fairly well but somehow you're love of showing your vocabulary (Sorry, had to say that ^_^ Heh) seemed to block you from really setting up the scenes. You're nice and descriptive at first but you slowly lose it as you go on. It is first person, and I was totally there with the 'in the character's head' part. Frankly, however, that doesn't just cut it? It's really good, but that's just soemthing to think on I suppose.

This is actually ver good. It is interesting how one tiny mistake can turn someone's life upside down.

The end was a sruprise, I really thought he was going to die.

Just a typo, "...I mustered up a grinned...

I think it should by "...dying man.." not dieing.

Good Job!