So this is where you went... This story is pretty good. Sadly, I haven't posted anything original in like..weeks. (That's because I'm still working on fanfics. It's addictive, I tell you!) Anyways, keep up the good work. The FFIX category misses you, btw.

Interesting beginning, with a hook, I think. Lot's of questions. Will they be explained?

Good Start! *_~

Nice introduction, short but intriguing! Well done. Besides that, there's not much more I can say, except I'm interested and I'll continue to read!

A nice beginning. It seems like you've given a little too much away, but that's just me. Good start; keep writing.-L-

hmm. This is kinda cool. I like the little philosophical rant thing at the beginning, though I think it could have a little bit more of a hook, to keep me reading till the end of the introduction. Intoductions often end up being boring so it's hard to not just skip over it. But I can't do that right now cause you haven't written anymore yet! Okay, back to coolness. I like the conversational style, especially at the end where you say "oh, you don't even know who Trei is do you?" I thought that was good. The only bit of that I didn't like was "Ah, but I'm getting ahead of myself" cause it had sort of a clunky feeling at the end of it. Think about it. Suggestions for hooks? Referring to things in the neoworld that are normal there but the readers don't know about, so they go,ooh, I want to know what that thing is. Maybe more detail on what Trei says about whatever to make us go.. wait... this is... different. I hope you write more, cause I'd like to see where you are going with this.