beautifully written. it flows so well and really captures the mood

+SpiLLeD InK+

Whimsy little piece, almost dreamlike and yet it still brought me back to a thought of reality. I suppose that is what pain can cause, you stretch out to grasp something and find nothing. Very interesting.

Oh I really like it. It has a good rhythm and the rhyme is very affective as well. Keep it up!

Hello Claire! (I usually refrain from exclamation points-like curse-words, only powerful when seldom used-- however, I think this is an occasion for exclamation)And why? well, I really would like you to know how much I admire your work...your write with verve and authority, and you dare to say things, Good for you! I also write, not as frequently as yourself, but perhaps I can share some of that with you at a future time if you like. You are sensitive and careful with words, and you allow them to suggest as well as to say things. ...just a point about using verbs in the present continuous- they hold their integrity as words of action when you put them into a solid tense...in other words, the "-ing" bit diminishes the power of the sound. I notice that you have wonderful ideas, but sometimes when I read your work, I want to "see" the ideas fleshed out more, I would like to see them given life through description and solidity; that is, "show don't tell"...i'm sure you've heard that one before. I encourage you to keep at it because you not only have talent galore, but most importantly a desire to write and write and write (would the word "compulsive" fit the bill?). I admire your honesty...keep at it. I look forward to more of your stories and poems. Well, I will go for now, but I hope to give you more particular feedback when next I pop into fictionpress. So, from hot and bright Montreal, a hug to you from your cousin Ruth. Take good care, and chat to you soon. a la prochaine, R

I enjoy the imagery in this poem. However, I usually don't like anything that rhymes. But I feel that it was appropriate in this case. Nice work! Keep writing!

emotional..and quite powerful.

have i told you i like your stuff? lol i love your writing style. it kinda reminds me of mine well keep up the good work!

heh I like its its unusal but very good! keep it up!

Good poem. I liked it.

I read your bio-thingy. I like the movie Donnie Darko too... and Jake Gyllenhaal.

Keep writing. :)

what an interesting poem. i like. you can picture what's happening to you in the poem. keep up the great work. ^_^--kwazykandypie AKA Kelly Ann--

that was a really great poem. I love how you wrote it, it had such emotion in it. Great job.

Wow. This is a very passionate and emotional poem that acurately portrays the hurt that develops around people and their loved ones when depression sets in.

If you keep writing, I'll keep reading.