i like the story, keep up the good work, get Kian and Mary out! and dont hurt the others...

More Soon

Wow...I knew it! So that's why she's so important, and dangerous. Can't wait for the next chapter(oh, and good luck with that writer's block. I'm still trying to get through mine.)

This is awesome! I can't wait to see what happens next!

Love it... update soon pls..

You need to specify who is speaking and when one person stops and another begins.

Boy, this is sorta confusing. So many new character names to remember... What's Tamara's problem with Marianna? Good chapter!

Good chapter! Sounds like Archimedes doesn't care who he kills as long as he gets a vampire. What a creep. Good chapter!

Why is Marianna's dad so mean? Something tells me that Kian will get involed with Marianna eventually. They have a great atraction to each other. I've got a bad feeling about this Mathen dude. Well, I guess I was right on Matthen. What a jackass he is. Why did Marianna deepen the kiss? Good chapter!

Love your story.. update soon pls..

There were some mispellings but nothing major. Great job! I'm looking forward to the next chapter=)

Some of the punctuation needs work. Great job none the less =)

Love it.. update soon pls..

Hmm, I like what you have so far,but that's not it right? Anyways good job I love a good vampire story. If you want you can check out mine its called Crystal Soul its not about vampires but i think its pretty good

I thooughly enjoyed it! There were some spelling mistakes and you were missing some words in your sentences, but other than that it was pretty well done. Keep up the good work! =)

YAY!!...i like it because your misspellings arn't like all hecka crazy and out there..your story is easy to understand if you really want to understand it...YAYhm yehalots of chaotic love,chaos