good chapter.

What a beautiful story. ^ ^ I'm sorry it took me so long to read one of your stories, but I've been busy. I will continue reading along with this story.

You definitley have me hooked

I love your story, update more. You could however shorten your chapters just a little bit. I like long chapters but these are just a little to long. Write soon!

A very interesting plot so far, thanks for sharing it on fictionpress. Good luck with it.

Okies, first, great chapter. And I've gotten to it! *beams* Now, just a few wee mistakes. Nothing big.

When Beth meets Reena, she says "... information I've received are recent..." when it should be "is recent." Subject-verb agreement, the verb being to be, and the subject being singular.

*laughs* The bit with the butterfly slayer was amusing, but slightly disturbing. Just this image of my grandmother beating a butterfly to death... *laughs again*

"The windows of Pienkull were opened slightly due to the exteriority of the room." The word exteriority -- is it a word? -- doesn't really make sense. Maybe something like due to the atmosphere in the room would work better. Also, Clark should have said "Maybe because of my old age, I am confused."

I liked the girl who appeared. It was neat. Also the bit about the sword. Oh -- the bit just after Serena left Seth -- you reverted to present tense when you said "she's still alive."

Hrm... when you're giving ages, remember, it looks better to use words, not numbers. Five as opposed to 5. Looks nicer.

This Crimson... weird. I'm still sticking with my Ken-Kaine theory, though. *beams* *stops* Wow. Beth's paranoid in the extreme. Having someone hang themselves a bit after someone else appears wouldn't exactly be my cue to suspect foul play.

You were good about tenses this chapter! Yay! ^^ You reverted a couple of times, but you were good most of the time. Just remember, 's's at the end of verbs mean you've gone to present tense.

Wait -- Vilder is *Reena's* father? O.o... okies... For real? *grimaces* Oh -- the other Reena. All good, then. *smiles* I was worried for a minute.

Gryph

M... Koni. Kaine Koni. Ken's name starts with a 'k', too. If they're going back in time a decade (or more, to let him get the book), then wouldn't that mean that he could possibly start his murders around the same time that Serena disappeared? Which means that Kaine Koni is Ken. Possibly.

*grins* I liked Wes and Jania's little adventure. It was funny.

Poor Serena. Still don't know Martha's connection to the Gang, but I'm certain that it'll come up.

Once more, tenses! The same! Keep them the same! Always! Unless people are talking. Then you can change.

The third world entails countries that are undeveloped. First world is the industrialized, high-tech nations like Europe and the US and Canada, as well as Japan and some Asian countries. Second world countries are developing; ie: approaching first world status. Yup.

Anyways, let me know when you update again. I'll be back.

Gryph

PS: TENSES!

Serena's mother is certainly charming. A certain... je ne sais quoi. *thinks* Ah. She's a total **. That's it.

Yeah... I guessed that the Dark Gang would be after the Sapphire Stone. When you were explaining about them, though, and at scattered points through the chapter, you switched from present tense to past. One tense! Only!

Hm... Now why do I get the impression that Merodi and Seth won't end up together? Or perhaps I'm wrong...

The spaceship thing was neat. Just don't understand exactly how it works.

And I'm back, post-exams!

Seth is a bastard. An impossibly dense bastard. And if he can't figure out why she was peeved, then he's more than impossibly dense. I just don't know what's denser.

It was a good chapter, with Ken and Sapphire Stone. You switched tense from past to present at the very end, though -- keep an eye out for that. Other than that, no problems.

Gryph

Ok, a little problem with the story. You keep switching from present tense to past tense, which is awkward, and even worse when you do it in the same sentance. Choose one, and it will flow a lot better.

Otherwise, very nice. I have to wonder about what happened to Mia, and who Martha really is. I mean, I doubt that she's truly Serena's mother. Possibly a member of one of the gangs?

Well... It's just a reference page, but it seems pretty interesting. I'm not big on making up this sort of thing (reference page) - I really prefer to explain things in the story itself - but I suppose that it could be useful.

Hum...good job! woo!

This is a very good story. Better than mine at least. The carteres are well thought out. The best of luck to you.

I don't know that you need to list all these things unless it is for your own information. The story should stand on it's own. While it's a good idea to have these things in the back of your mind, it adds depth to the story. You don't have to list it all out like this, just bring it up in the story as it becomes relevant.