"Faster and faster, until the air veritably hummed with the speed of the mirrors." -- sentence fragment.

"Go to Ki form" -- first time you've ever mentioned this. I basically understand what you mean, but still.

"the tie" -- *possibly* the first time. You may have mentioned this before, but not enough that I particularly remember it. Once again I basically get it, but still.

"I don’t feel like I’ve learned anything that can help her." -- I don't feel like I have the slightest idea what's actually wrong with her. She's barely been in this story at all, huh? For a while there, I totally forgot that she was. :P

What I'm having the most trouble understanding is why Davri even *needs* Nyte to fix whatever it is that's wrong with Kassix. That really doesn't make any sense to me at all.

I really admire you at the way you've kept up this story for over 4 years!

It definetly deserves a pat on the back!

“How long has it been since I’ve seen a sunrise?” he mused. “I think…not since we were on Gaichi. How long ago was that?” -- I thought this was Davri talking. Add it to the previous paragraph so we can tell it's still about Nyte.

Nothing else to say, really. Sorry I took so long to get around to it. :P

“Speed is relevant to the task at hand,” Nyte replied testily. -- don't you mean "irrelevant"?

Everything kind of happens at once in this chapter, doesn't it? Hmm. If I've one criticism to level, it's that magic just seems too *easy*. I mean, they're essentially altering the reality around them at will, and there's no indication of the ways in which they're limited.

Magic without limits is just a Deus Ex. When you come to rewriting this, I'd put a lot more thought into the rules and limits of magic, and then go to some pains to make them known to the reader.

She glanced up at him, the swiftly returned her gaze to the floor -- "then".

which made Davri paused and stare strangely -- "pause".

This chapter made me wonder how they ever kept Davri in check in the first place. I mean, of course he didn't have magic to begin with, but then they gave it to him, and he didn't just go on a rampage right away? I was under the impression they had effective means of restraint.

Telepathy was good again, the way it interrupts things gives a good sense of the distraction involved.

Dialogue tags were a bit iffy. You know lines of dialogue by different speakers should be separated into different paragraphs, of course. But what defines a paragraph is a new subject -- some of the tags for the dialogue of a particular speaker feature a different speaker as subject, and it confuses things. I'll try to find an example ..

“…I’m sorry.” Diane didn’t look at him. He sighed. -- yeah, there we go. "He sighed" has Davri as the subject. It should be moved to the next paragraph and paired with his dialogue.

summon scientist rofl style credits for that one double credit for the whooping davri handed out

There's not really much to say. The end is rather abrupt, the scene doesn't seem to be finished yet.

Normally I'd complain about you slipping seamlessly between two different characters' perspectives, but it actually works well this time, with the telepathy. Gives a sense of being in two places at once, which fits well.

well decent chap considering how busy you must be for having it be so short and long update times

What can I say? Hmm ...

It seemed very short. But I don't think it was necessarily a lack of content; there's only one scene here, but one scene per chapter is a decent habit to be getting into. I think it was the *pace* of the chapter that made it seem so short. Probably because it's driven by a lot of dialogue.

Little confused about Davri's abrupt change of attitude, but it was good. Looking forward to more.

short but at least it's an update decent chapter

“Like hell something’s the matter!” -- is he trying to be sarcastic? It doesn't really come across that way. "like hell" would mean that it's not the case, as in nothing is the matter. But the expletive shatters that impression, resulting in a confusing mixed-message that doesn't manage to sound like sarcasm. I'd advise you to change the line to either "No! Where do you get that impression?" or similar and have him roll his eyes, or to "You're damn right something's the matter!"

Nothing else stood out to me as something that needed to be "fixed".

This is interesting. They're starting to remind me of the Thule Society as portrayed in the Fullmetal Alchemist movie, Conqueror of Shamballa, with the occult circle and the amulets and the greed for magic.

Oh, in regards to my prior comment, I do know he sealed his magic. But I don't recall him using much at all prior to having sealed it. All I remember is him doing mundane problem-solving with that brain of his. That was the issue, really.

Yo! This is madness (from gaia)
Umm, I like this story...and I normally am not that crazy about fantasy. I really liked how you mensioned the Draken thing but gave that whole "mystery" feel. Great job!

I rarely write reviews (I'm a pretty terrible critic, even a constructive one) but I just wanted to let you know that this is one of the few stories that keeps me coming back to check fictionpress every couple of months. It's a great story, with fascinating characters and it's been fun to watch it develop. You keep improving as a writer and I never know where exactly the stories going next. Thanks for a fantastic story.

This chapter was considerably more interesting than the last one. But come to think of it, the story *began* (more-or-less) with Nyte being whisked away by the Darken, right? And since then, I don't recall him using much magic at all. Barely any, in fact.

So him suddenly going through all these details of magic-use and talking about his specific abilities is totally out of left-field. If Davri is his first teacher, then I have no idea when he was supposed to have learned it all.

Maybe it's just that it's been so long since I read the relevant chapters that I've totally forgotten. When you come to re-writing this, though, I think it would be a good idea to have Nyte actually use magic much more often.

Well it's been awhile, but here I am again, finally. Sorry about that.

It was very easy to picture Nyte's age in this chapter. Something about his docility, perhaps, and it helped when he faked a tantrum. Generally he's too calculating for me to see him as a 13-year-old, and that came back a bit after he'd seen Davri.

Overall, this chapter was unsettling to me mainly because there doesn't seem to be any conflict. These white-coated people are ostensibly the villains, and they've taken Nyte and Davri forcibly into custody, but for one, neither of them is struggling; and for two, their captors have an air of benevolence that feels out-of-place.

Well I'll just see what happens next, shall I?