great great poem... i love the sun as an image... so inspiring and represenative of different things. i also just like the whole poem in general. it had a nice flow to it.

I know what you mean. I love some of the lines, but as a whole the poem isn't your best work. That being said, it still has a nice flow and story-like content. Great visualization as well. Keep it up! I love reading!

Interesting, and I agree with you. I love the first stanza, but the others seem kinda slapped together. Maybe because you couldn't think of anything? It's happened to me before, I know. But I really like the concept, and a lot of this is really good. Keep it up!