interesting lil glimpse of a story here, would be inetesrting if you would expand it, nicely done

Hi. I really liked this concept. I was interested the whole way through and i enjoyed the writing too. I reckon it could be expanded a bit more (not too much hehe i like short stories) but maybe add a little more. haha dont take my 'constructive critisism' too siriously, cause i really liked this story. well done-molly