I actually liked this story since its well done however I think you at some point went into details that you didn't bother to explain. Also the end comes very abruptly and with new information that makes people thinks there's still more.

Because of those points I would like to ask if you'll write a sequel to this story of if its already finished.

I would like to remaind you that if you dont have intetion of cointinuing the story then it's better to leave it like this instead of trying to make a sequel that you don't like just to please the readers.

i liked the ending, it summed things up nicely, while creating interest for what i'm assuming would be another story

can't wait to read the first chapter :)

never stop writing

() Eleri (

Wow, this is quite an epic.

At first, I was a little worried that the plot would be very cliched. I was very pleased, however, to find what a unique story you were able to create. I was always at first worried that your constant change in POV would be confusing or, at least, abrupt, but it was especially effective towards the end.

I really liked the story, but it feels like you didn't really tie up all the strings at the end. What happened to Nate? Will she return? I think if you wanted to a sequel could be very possible.

Good job

Dang. I can't believe that the story ended so abruptly, but at the same time, I like the way you kept the tempo the same up to the very end. I'm really hoping that you'll continue this in another story... I'm dying to know what happens.

Gah! Update asap, pretty pretty please?

This is an absolutely gorgeous story. You've got this slightly surreal, Kafka-esque tone to your writing, but you always manage to keep things sounding realistic because your characters are so upfront about their thoughts. The way you're balancing the story between so many main characters is pretty admirable, as well. My one complaint would have to be that Valry and Carrie aren't getting too much love.

yes this is awsome man like top 3 books I've read ever :D

hahaha exteremly satisfying I can understand why yes this book is awsome :D

whats with the “Shut the f* up you" I mean come on this book is fantastic in my opinion you shouldn't ruin it with that word. but as I ssaid it's only my opinion you can do what you want

yes this is an awsome story man you do have a lot of it to hehehe I'v been looking for a long story :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:I:I:I:I:I:I:I:I:I:I:I:I:I:I:O:O:O:O :O:O:O:O:O:O:O :)

I can't believe you haven't had anyone review the top half of your chapters (41-82). I think chapter 31 was the farthest chapter reviewed, which is surprising because you seem to be such a good writer.

A few things I like about your story: how you have different chapters when changing from character to character, your description of characters and settings, and the little bit of humor that you incorporate into the story.

One question: who is the knight of Betrayal? Have you put them in the story yet? (Oops, that's two questions. Oh, well. Who really cares? Onoes, that was three. I'll just be right over here. *Slowly creeps away from the keyboard, takes medication, and walks back.* Now, where was I? P)

I can't wait until you update again. I wonder what is going to happen with Nate, "Polly," and her brother. I think that either: the other soldiers find out and are going to kill the children, therefore making him have to choose between the children or whatever he has else(?)... or the brother dies and they get caught trying to bury him.

Thanks for this great story and, again, update soon.

Ah! That's so amazing! fish that imitate sounds Hahaha. Sorry, adding little messages at each 'squeal-worthy' thing! :D

Hahahaha! I like these characters! V. AWESOME. They've all got little quirks about them. And Valry is hilarious (Valry snorted. “Queen? They can’t even keep hold of their queen? I don’t know that I like the sound of this planet – they must be idiots.”) Hhahaha.

ahem, oh yeah * four souls, not eight. my bad!

I really enjoyed this first chapter! The plot sounds interesting - eight souls to collect, that sounds like an adventure :) - and very unique! I also like the fact that you don't describe everything and anything. I think it makes the brain work a bit to give the reader's own interpretation of the situation, or whatever. Besides, description can sometimes bog down the story and tear away from the plot. I like how you're focusing on what's happening. Looking forward to reading the many chapters ahead .

Like someone said more descriptions would help out and I feel that your lacking that opening hook. You've clearly worked hard on your story and I think with some revising you could see alot more reviews. Work on a good opening hook, it's the most important selling point of your story.