Ah...I'm not so sure about this one. There were some off parts, in my point of view, but then again, who am I to judge? Again, I love the words you used and all in all, this wasn't a bad poem.

The rhythm was a lot nicer in this one than in 'Lives' but still a little hard to follow in some parts. Don't focus so much on rhyming, though... I think it lessens the effect of the story. I kept loosing the story as I read and focused on how 'spin' and 'again' or 'world' and 'hurl' rhymed. Then, in the places you took out the rhyming it threw me off, because I was looking for one when there wasn't any.A good poem, I liked it, but I didn't like the rhyming.

For he looses the Truth... he looses his sight, he looses his battle... to smite away his own dark father, to become the very darkness of which Fate foretold so many ages ago.

That adds a spin on the story arc. The Whole piece is beautifully written. Great job on your descriptive wording and elegant flow of the lines. You rhythm changed about halfway through and added a different rhyme scheme but it worked and added more. Great job and hurry and continue. I really want to read the next part because this is awesome.