Hmm, interesting! Certainly, better written then some stories I've seen recently.

However, since this -is- Eyetk the Editor, a few CCs for you:

First, a couple of times in there you start paragraphs with 'Enola' several times in a row. I'd go back and edit this out a bit.

Also, especially at the beginning, some of your sentences are very..chopped. To remedy this, I'd recommend that you read it aloud, and hear for yourself out it comes out..

Finally, you might want to be careful with your past/present tense useage.

Other then that, well done!

Oh my God. I wasn't aware I hadn't reviewed this already. I am so frickin sorry!!

Anywho, this is so awesome. I love the dark imagery you play on this. I'm glad Enola is getting closer to her daughter! I so cannot *wait* to read more!!

mandy was right! this was really good. i liked it. good job. ~gangsta gurl

Hmm...intriguing! A bit confusing here and there, but nothing major. Your characters are stable, steady, staying very in character. The writing is smooth, with easy transitions. All in all...job well done!

Oh yeah - Michael should die.

The writing is very technically sound. Though having so much physical distance between sentences is exhausting to read. Bigger paragraphs would bring the reader to pay much more attention.

On a more personnal note, I found the story very interesting, though I have a certain feeling of dejà-vu to this... Who knows, maybe I'll be lucky enough that you'll allow me to write with you? ;)

Love,Dave.