Wow! Nice story, however:

In the first paragraph..fear can breathe fingers? Sorry, but your language there (can't recall the exact term at the moment)..in terms of flowery or expansive descriptiveness...gets a bit overdone.

One other CC is that it's not really clear where the sailors/ghosts/vampires come from. One moment, she's alone, and then the next moment, there's this thing in front of her, devouring some living creature? If I've got that wrong..well, just pointing out that it's a bit confusing.

Oh, I lied. I've got another CC. Just one other, though. In the last line, 'who was hiding in the shadows' implies that A) that someone is deliberately hiding and B) Ciara realizes this. At the moment, Ciara's a bit too overwrought to realize anything of the sort. I'd recommend rephrasing it some other way, such as--"someone in the shadows", or "someone, hidden in the shadows", or even "something in the shadows".

Happy writing!

'Let's just say...I have them an electrifying gift.' LOL! That was so funny...

You are an awesome writer!! I love your imagery and fluent writing style...you have a gift! I swear! If I could write like this, I'd write a story, or at least a poem...but whatever!

oh my god, this was the best story ever!! i swear, i loved it so much. ciara is so cool. and i've fallen in love with kylsen. you are so gifted and talented. there is nothing i have to criticize you on!!

"The child too carried to backpacks more than likely full of toys and whatever else" 'to' should be 'two' also a suggestion. 'the child too carried...' this doesn't flow well. Maybe reword it? Also I would put a comma between 'backpacks' and 'more'

I liked this chapter. You have good characterisations, and a sense of control over what happens to your characters.

"Running with fear, Ciara ran..." wouldn't repeat the verb 'ran'

"when creatures came out of no where and began attacking people" This seems a bit abrupt, maybe add some description of her emotions towards this, for example is she surprised that there are creatures, or are they acknowleged to exist in their world?

"Ciara moved farther away from him" 'farther' should be 'further'

A creepy first chapter. Though a couple of sentences were hard to read, the rest was well written.