this is pretty good.. i like the line 'stranded in my youth'. I don't really know how to read this though, because the lines have numbers of syllables. If some of them are meant to be held for longer, or there's a rhythm to it which makes it flow, then thats cool (im guessing there is), but you might want to find a way of showing the rhythm and stuff. good work though :)

Very nice! Keep writing!

~Anna~

/** head to the side inquisitively/

Let's put it this way: I stink at poetry, both understanding and writing it.

It seemed okay. I'm not capable of saying much else.

Keep writing!

This is so sweetly done,and it's a very kind poem/song,great job! Midnight Lynx