FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Rythe 2007-02-07 ch 1,  | Absolutely gorgeous! Very beautiful description, it had a tremendous overall flow. I noticed a bit of description concerning the room, the lights actually, and I applaud it. Now all you need to do is put this much description in your stories! This was charming :D however this "The paper made the sound a paper makes when you open it" was a tad silly. Paper crinkles, you could've said "Nimble fingers spread the creased note that had been tucked away with care" or something like that :P (If it had been tucked away with care XD) Very good though, this is certainly my all-time favorite :D -Humble Admirer, Rythe |
| Samantha 2005-07-10 ch 3, | Can't wait for more. Your writing style is absoulutly intruiging. |
| CeeKay Sheppard 2005-06-22 ch 3,  | Oh, this looks like it's going to be really tragic. I love the way you described Dr. Phillips's emotions, and the backstory that brought on his reaction. Excellent job! |
| MuzikalWriter 2005-06-22 ch 1, | It's on both ends. I've uploaded it three times. I've got a whole 4 page chapter and that's the only bit that's showing up. I don't know what to do. |
| BadSweets 2005-06-22 ch 3, | Hey! The chapter didn't load properly for me... Is this a problem on my end or yours? |
| BadSweets 2005-05-31 ch 2, | Hey! Nice, I like the way you've created mood and tension. You're holding me in suspense... what will be unearthed in the investigation? If you get bored of this story. Or something. It would be good to try your hand at making it a short descriptive piece... maybe inserting some philosophy or something about the symbolism of her death. |
| Jessica Night 2005-05-30 ch 1, | Loved it. I really don't know what else to say--I didn't see any errors or anything that needs to be improved, so... Yeah. I guess that's it. Great story. Keep writing! ~Jessica |