okay first off, i just gotta say... i LUV U!

seriously, this is amazing! i just luv this story so much!

o please continue this story! i love all of your writings so much!

ur a master at making stories come to life, so plz plz plz, update this 1! i'm begging you!

wow now i interested, what in the WORLD is going on?!?!?! up date please?

Ahh it's so refreshing to read a story written by one with such a good imagination! I LOVE your story you are most talented! Please update soon :)

BTW do you love The Labyrinth as much as I do? ;)

totally awesome!

this was a great chapter!! Keep up the good work

this is so good. I love it. it's very well written. to my favorites list it goes

OMFG! I thought that you had completely quit on this story! you don't know how surprised I was to find it on the first page! and boy was the chapter great, I LOVED it! so. . .what is Keene? and where is he, who is Magnus and what does he want with Keene? well you know there's only one way for us reader's to find out. UPDATE! 'please' don't make us wait so long again! it'll literaly KILL me. . .well my mind that is. but you can take as long as you like if it's to help the story! well anywho, I can't wait till your next update, i'll be cheeking! and keep up the GREAT work! ^_^

AH! So good! I am hooked! Your characters are so...relatable. I love Keene. I love Magnus. I love that name. Its in the Vampire Chronicles. YAY! Please update and I'll love you even more than I do now!

not that I won't if you don't

OH OH OH MORE PUH-LEASE!!

Wow, this seems like it really go places. I'm hoping you write more soon!You have totally and completely captured mt interest.

*stares at screen waiting for more* lol, great! can't wait for more!

It was very good and slightly creepy. One suggestion though, perhaps when you mention both of the main characters eyes in the same sentence you could substitute the word 'vision' or such, so as not to overuse the word 'eyes'. I think you used the word twenty-five times. But I must admit its not a very flexable word; few if any synonyms.

WOW! oh my gosh! this is GREAT, just wow, i haven't read any good story's in a 'long' time. reading this just brighten's my day. not a cliff at all but still, please hurry with the next chapter! this makes me feel bad also, i could never make a story this good, i'm so jealous. ^_^ i LOVE this though, now from your other story's and from this chapter, i know that you can write another great chap. keep up the great work and i'll be waiting.