Great start. I believe I only saw one tiny mistake, and since I don't even remember it, that's alright. Sorry, I'm picky about punctuation and spelling. Nice descriptions, just enough background information to keep a reader interested. I wish I had hair down to my back, lol.

Please continue.

I really like your story so far. I hope you do keep working on it. I should hope that the plot enfolds soom and i really the Amari character and cant wait to hear more about him. Maybe have more to do with his hair, its funny how long it is. ~Ayame