  Coward in the Shadows 2005-05-31 . chapter 2 I'm trying to be constructive...so here's my advice.
1. Change your summary. (Insulting readers is rarely a good way to capture their interest)
2. Spell-check. (There are a few misspellings: "strait" instead of "straight", "hest" instead of "chest", etc.
3. More meaning. Less words. (This sounds weird, but some of your sentences are a little wordy. Say what you want to say and cut the excess. I don't mean 'get rid of all your adjectives', just...cut the excess. [ex: He had steadily been increasing his speed as he ran, but the imperials still seemed to be gaining on him. -> He had steadily increased the speed of his running, but the imperials were still gaining on him.]
Other than that, keep writing! |
FictionPress.com - let the words flow