lol, i like this... very well writen and it had great imagery... And i loved your wording... all in all i really liked this and the ending was great too.

I like the way you have done this. Nice work!

I love this poem. It's so sad but captures the desperation of a person longing to be acknowledged very well. I love the theme of "crimson tears/Vermillion tracks" - it gives beautiful imagery. Well done.I think a lot of people will be able to relate to this as well as I can.

Repeating the first two lines at the end really helps reinforce the meaning behind the poem. Keep up the good work.

I love this, great job!

To tell everyone the truth, I didn't mean to makeit a mirror image poem, or a cyclic poem. At the end of it, I was just trying to emphasize the point of the poem. Also, I just wanted to say that the crimson tears and vermillion tracks of the heart crying are blood. Because the heart pumps the blood, and if it was crying, I would think the tears would be of blood. Also, I got the inspiration in the weirdest place. My mom had a scab that opened while outside, and there were trails of blood runnig down her arm. It was really sunny outside, and it made the color really crimson. Odd place for inspiration, I know.

beautifully written, i especially liked the style you chose to write it. the mirrored image deal, u know. I also liked the short lines and no real stanzas. at any rate, i liked it.

~Mack

PS. the first chapter of VS was actually wrong, so if u'd like, the story would probably make more sense if u re-read or printed the first chapter again, only if you're interested. also, Zaria is a one of the many characters whose name we re-use. the personality and sitation is completely different - it's just so we dont have to keep coming up with new characters.

That's really emotive, and kinda mysterious. Like the 'cyclic' form.