fixed the tenses 4 ya

hope it sounds a lil bit better

MORE POEMS ON THE WAY PEOPLE

-ferg-

I likey!:)

Hi! This is pretty good; it has some nice images. I also like the repetition of the heavens leaking down.

I think the rhythm goes off in a lot of places, though, and a lot of the rhyming seems forced. Maybe this would work better as a free verse poem? Just a thought. Also, you switch tenses in the middle. Might want to look at , keep writing!pointythings