I like it, but just like some of Kaggr's stories, it ends too fast...It is really good though, and it's only the first thing on the list.

-Kamo

Interesting piece. You have a knack for writing and it shows in this story. I liked how it was vague about everything but what the story was currently focusing on, that makes this piece neutral- It won't offend anyone who reads it. Good Job! It's marvelous.

Also, nice touch on the end. It wraps it up nicely, leaves it open for interpretation, and sticks it in the reader's mind.

I enjoyed it immensely, I can't wait to read the rest of your works.

The Grinning Cheshire Cat,

~~Elaana

whoa...how do you do that? you're such a good writer! you leave us at just a moment when it's not quite a cliffy, but we're just dying for more! gah...i'll come back later and read more. I can't right now. It's amazing that you're aren't acknowledged (why does that look wrong?) as a better writer. Maybe you should change your summaries. The ones in your bio are perfect, just try to fit them into the actual space. Cya!

This was very interesting, James seemed pretty well described and developed for such a short piece, and I enjoyed this. I agree with -Eostre-the ending did seem kind of rushed, though I did like the last line about her work being done, but if you are going to redo it I'd be interested in reading that. Nice job

Thank you. I had a 1500 word limit, but I want to go over it and change the ending later..

Nice, but I think it feels kind of rushed at the end explaining the rebellion.