Hi cuz. I hear you groan. Mwahahaha...Seriously, Just read it and great plot, but not brilliantly written. Some things are unclear and you should reinforce them. Example, what exactly did the character do to the air headed chick at the beginning, when did she wae up...blah. It becomes obvious, eventually, but "if a sentence has to be reread it's a bad one".Byee. Know you'll miss me...

hello again...

...um...

i read it a couple of minutes ago...and...it...um...

...was really...um...GOOD...YER THATS IT...GOOD!

~lots of sarcasm

...Peior...

That was very nice. Very well written. (Although a few bits of it seemed rushed) I loved the emotion in it.

Short 'n' sweet. It could've been longer so that we could've felt more for the characters, but it's a good piece nonetheless.

Love the sense of hope at the end, the only thing I would say is that a lot of your sentences are very similar in length; this makes the flow stilted and it's harder for the reader to fully engage in the words. But otherwise, well written and very powerful.

Wow.. that made my stomach turn.. powerfull and so sad.. wow..