awesome poem. I read the book last summer and i LOVED it. good work Melly (i already guessed it)! soo yeah

good work if i say so myself!-michelle

That's okay if you don't normally write rhyming poems. They don't necessarily have to rhyme anyway.

I liked this poem. Loved it, actually. There was a line or two that seemed a bit forced and didn't flow naturally, but everyone has at least one, so it's no big deal. There's one line where you have the word "then" when it should be "than" but I can't find it now. You used "future" in two back-to-back lines that kind of took away from the flow. You may want to go back and see what you can do about editing that.

Other than those minor things, I thought this was a marvelous poem. I loved the first four lines. They drew me right in.

~Ty

In regards to your question about who created Tohoner Bread, Mack came up with it just for the story. It comes in later on.

Good job at the rhyme! A few were a bit overused, but I liked it all the same.

lav

This is a very long poem like your last one. Some of the rhymes seem a bit forced..and when you repeated rhymes at the beginning..it kinda lost effect however then it started to pick up and i enjoyed the rest of the poem. Very well done...congratulations on your first poem like this...i know mine were alot worse first off. Good work ^^