Reviews for Inside Out - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Inside Out

Sahara Hayden 2005-06-05 ch 1,	This is very good...although you may want to describe the "this" that "is part of your charm". Otherwise, it had an overall good sense of rhythm, it got a little choppy near the end. Otherwise, great job!!~Sahara~
Unholy Haven 2005-06-04 ch 1,	First of all, this poem was interesting enough to keep my attention all the way through, and the title was enough to draw me in in the first place. I agree there does seem to be an excessive number of questions in this poem. Also, I think something needs to be changed in the ending to give it a more satisfactory feel and a bit more impact. I might suggest changing the last line to something of this nature: You are everything, but...I want to turn you inside out. Anyway, thanks for sharing!
Chris Taylor 2005-06-04 ch 1,	It's pretty good, one thing i'd have to say is it seems a bit confusing, at first at least. Maybe a little bit of background stuff? like, why is it she's talking like this? what happened to make her think like this? (also, i'm assuming on the her part ^_^). Anyways, it ended nicely, everything kinda came together, but the beginning could use just a little bit of tweaking. Peace and Chicken Grease
heroin zombie 2005-06-04 ch 1,	Just some random points: 1. Although there were some poesy lines in this (Should I turn on my heel and stalk away? or You are everything I wish I could turn inside out) the piece comes off a bit dry because of its plain language. Try and be a bit more poetic. It's mostly prose. 2. There are too many questions in this. Way too many. 3. I like the title and the ending line. 4. You use puncuation well. 5. I think this should be under romance/angst, not just general.
grim-dreamer 2005-06-04 ch 1,	Hmm... Seems like this poem is intended for the perusal of the other party... It would help those unfamiliar (for instance, myself) with the comprehension of this situation if a little more attention was paid to setting the scene, instead of immediately introducing us to the state of current affairs... The final couplet is extremely strong, though - you ought to keep that and perhaps work around it?

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