Nice. Your lines do seem a little forced, but not ridiculously so. Don't be so ** yourself. Lines are important, but if you can't communicate the emotion behind them, then you're screwed. You don't have that problem. I did know what elysium is. lol

hey, me again. I think it's nice, even if the lines don't have a specific rhythm. If someone can comprehend what it's saying then it doesn't need to flow so much.

I hope you're doing better. You sound...I don't know. I'll write you, if you like, and I hope you get it. Best wishes.

Love from

S

gorgeous, gorgeous. you did a fantastic job on the poem, the reference to greek mythology left me in a state of shock and amazment as it just fit so well. an amazing poem and I can not praise this enough! well done.

~* noelle

Whoah, whoah, wait a minute! You have songs posted since after the last time I reviewed you... and I didn't know?! Damn fictionpress, I haven't even gotten the author alerts! *hisses viciously* Sorry man, I'll have to go back tomorrow and review the rest! AHH! SO much catching up to do! But anyway, now on to the review (took long enough, eh? lol!). This was quite deep, the style of writing I enjoy reading. 'Hell's **' would have been a better title, but I know how fictionpress is *rolls eyes* But yes.. this was ** amazing! Excellent work!

You do a fantastic job of painting this dark picture this underworld with your words. It's actually quite lovely and the allusion to Greek mythology really helps it as well. Another great job and keep writing :D

interesting.. dont be so ** urself

Hey man, this is nice. I like it. Angsty, yes, but inspired, well-done angst. And I knew what Elysium was! Woot! Because I rock like that. :-D

This is really amazing, and actually is very shakespearean actually. I didn't know about Elysium before this, but I'm really in to mythology so, this really impressed me. I have 'mature' or whatever titles sometimes, lol. I like the finale here and the beginning as well, I think it's really well worded. And people teel me my stuff doesn't really 'flow' but it used to, well i started writing not to be amazing, but because its what I feel. I'm not losing that just to get good reviews. I think that's how you feel too.

Anyway my reviews always get too long and too self-centered. You're amazing.

Sincerely Unforgettable,

ANNA

You painted such a wonderfully broken setting for this poem. Which I LOVED by the way. Excellent, as usual

PSHappy Birthday

I like the theme of hopelessness and darkness.

It was pretty but sad. A lovely write!

I love Elysium it's a cool word and a cool place. Well, lol, and it's the closest word to "Elyse" except maybe Champs Elysees. It wasn't terrible-but I bet it will get better.

Another amazing poem! This one is really good, and I really like the word choice. I really am glad to see you writing again, you are a good writer and you should never give it up!

I liked this poem. It was very good. At times, I do feel the same as you do.

I like it, though it's kind of angsty and hopeless. I think that the lines at the end lose some of their impact with the way that you've divided them, it seems less mature than at the beginning when it was a more straightforward structure. The "my wings have been clipped" line is also very overused, it fits but I think you need to be careful of the cliche. I absolutely love the last line, though, "Hell's **," and its sense of.. resignation? Sort of a resigned, bitter, and sarcastic tone there. But I like some of your wording. Nice job. =)