This is written tastefully, not explicitly offensive. You wrote it beautifully and if anyone ever has a problem with it kick them in the teeth and run. Haha. Seriously, I love this. I hope there's room on my fave stories list for this...

~Lady Cirien

P.S. Thanks for the review on "Mars the Conqueror."

it's not rude. it IS poetic. but then again, i worship you :) i think its a very sexy poem

...holy christ this was magnificent. really you make sex so heartbreakingly beautiful, really jealous that you have that power. this is delicous, theres an almost velvet quality to your words, the images are so exquisit and powerful- an absolutly incredible piece. it capture passion, lust and yet something much more then both of them. wonderful job.

i loved this. it takes a very, very good poem to make rhyme actually /work/ for me--and this one definitely did it. beautifully done, kudos.

OH MY GOD...wow, this was wonderful, I absolutely loved it, I do apologize for being so MIA lately...I'm getting married!! hehe There's so much to tell you girl, your writing, wow, you've improved so much, I am blown away. My new SN for Aim is: DisheartenedDoll i do hope i get to hear from you soon and take care of yourself dollface. Mwuah!-always and forever, Kate

lovely work..it isnt vulgar in any way...do keep writing =D

Amazingly sensual poem! Vivid descriptions, not too explicit, more suggestive and I found myself caught up in it and where the poem led my thoughts to. *blush* Not so great in a school library.

Izzy J.

wow.. you did make lsut so pahtetic and magical.. very cool.. awesome descriptions

Acutely you make a good point. I don't see many poems about sex my self and this is acutely really good. I love the imagery in this. It's erotic but not in a grottoes way that makes you want to vomit or any thing. Because so many sex scenes are just awful. This is really quite good though and I like how it turned out.

I really like the imagery more than anything in this poem. "as a snake twists," "indulging the devil, cheering him," "heat of the sun," etc. These add a temperature and a facial expression to the poem. If one word could some of this poem, i'd say "heat." There's a lot of heat, from the friction of confusion to the "burning between...thighs." I don't necessarily mean it's a HOT SEX YES poem or anything like that, just that there's a lot of heat. Know what i mean? lol

beautiful, beautiful work! the poem is filled with so much emotion and is just amazing. I love the last few lines, really sums it up nicely. :)

!~* noelle *~!