FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Merlin 2007-01-25 ch 3,  | Erm... wow. This is a good chapter on it's own, but it just seems very sudden. It's like all of this action came out of the blue, or possibly black in this case. Work on the transition a little bit, but otherwise it's very good. |
| Merlin 2007-01-23 ch 2, | Not bad. Similar to Star Trek. The ending makes me think that something bad has happened back at home. |
| Merlin 2007-01-19 ch 1, | Well... it's a prologue. Not much that I can say at the moment. No gaping flaws anywhere. |
| ThanatosMORTIS 2005-10-06 ch 1,  | swet... |
| MagnaZero 2005-08-31 ch 3, | Please continue. |
| Casey Drake 2005-08-23 ch 3, | oo... very sweet. :) CD |
| Casey Drake 2005-08-23 ch 1, | SWEET! this is cool. :) CD |
| Tiggermyk 2005-08-20 ch 3, | Hm. Very abrupt. Maybe it's because I haven't seen an update in so long *pointed stare* that I think it's so, but still...one moment they're flying off, the next he's approaching Earth!? Did I get that right? Or did I miss something...as usual? |
| Tiggermyk 2005-06-10 ch 2, | Noticed a few grammatical errors (duh), and you switched tenses a couple of times. Kem seemed very much at-ease to be meeting an alien species for the first time. Hey! You get on to me for short chapters and no details? I oughta kick you! *glare* |
| M.L. Burt 2005-06-08 ch 2, | Cool! I'd leave a more detailed review but I'm pressed for time. The paragraph structure, description, etcetera, are really good, and the plot line is quite interesting! Congrats! |
| hotsauce6548 2005-06-06 ch 1, | Nice set-up. It's definetly got me interested! There were only a few things. I didn't understand when Bindan said, "No organic material this time?" and Kem said, "No." But he's flying the plane! Isn't he organic? I was a bit confused on that part. Oh, and one other *tiny* detail (sorry for being picky...). You said it was a life-size hologram of Bindad... and it was sitting on his desk. Does that mean that the life-size hologram of Bindan was sitting on the desk? That would make it kind of awkward when they were talking. Anyway, nice intro. Please update! |