me likey the story

Wow! I guess you've been busy, huh? An entire story completed while I was on hiatus (coughfell-off-fiction-planetcough)! I'm just going to go through and review whenever I feel like it, because reviewing every chapter is going to kill me and reviewing at the very end means that I'll forget something from the beginning. So: YEAH! I really like the beginning. And the bisexual thing is hilarious! I will probably find this out later anyway, but: Do wizards work for Satan?

Also: thanks for reviewing my new story =3 Your love is appreciated.

The only word that would fit this would be CUTE. And a little confusing. Cause I don't exactly live in San Francisco.

I LURVE the outtakes. And I love Daimot. (NO... Don't hurt me, Mekaos!)

Maybe it's just because I have a thing for green, sorry Andy.

-Apple

Good story! :-)

haha! Daimot is so crushed that the story's over! poor guy! lol!

Well, it was fun to read! sorry i haven't read this chapter before now! It's been entertaining! Ja, I hope to read more from you!

This is probably the best chapter so far. Although it doesn't contain the same balance of humour versus serious progression that the other chapters do, I think that works very well here since a lot of plot development is achieved, explaining who Abaddon is, how the dimensional boundaries and the battles work, and basically defining the universe of the story.

Furthermore we get to meet Ethan's family whom I think you've picked great names for again. Most of them, especially the name Alyson, I really like. And some of the lines, especially toward the end, stand out as being sharp and witty.

How do you keep coming up with these wonderful ideas for outtakes? You've been blessed with a great imagination.

"Awesome!" Cynthia exclaimed. "You know the upper crust now." – in reference to a food company. Classic! :)

Also: "And look at those little sparrows! Aren't they cute?"

"Mum! Stop that!" Andy protested.

"Stop what?" she asked innocently.

Gotta love the cuteness of the end of this scene. The scene in its entirety provided the necessary exposé and still gave a bit of humour at the end. You seem to have a particular talent for this – you can put in the heavier stuff and still bring a smile to the reader. Plus it's particularly realistic, matching what might be the pattern of a real argument.

Also the very end of the chapter rules. "As you wish, my prince!" Andy blushed and threw a pillow at him. – Nicely done.

So we have the first real signs that Andy might too feel attraction to Ethan, despite his gender preference. I like the way their argument isn't one sided, that both manage to get a point across, rather than having one person make progress and not the other. Also it's all nice and cute with Andy's actions towards Ethan (re: putting his head on his shoulder, etc).

I like the detail about how the spells have to be focused through a crystal, also. It adds a bit of realism.

Out-take is again good. That's another nice fourth-wall-breaker. ;)

I'm commenting on the out-take first this time since it was classic! Tasteful fourth-wall-breaking. :) Love the utilisation of a straight couple too, which made it even better.

Daimot – is he after Ethan, Andy or both? His actions toward Ethan suggest him, but it could equally be a decoy to indicate that he wants Andy. *wonders* I look forward to seeing if either or neither is true. Also regarding Daimot – he seems to provide something of an outside opinion to the characters, since he is not on the same plane of existence as them most of the time, and instead watches from below, so he is an observer of the events in much the same way the readers are, which I think is interesting.

I think you've sculpted a realistic reaction to such a revelation as the one Ethan makes to Andy in this chapter. Especially to the fireball. I'd be somewhat concerned too if someone were to suddenly demonstrate their ability to generate fire from seemingly nothing. It's good.

*repeats last comment about coffee* *smiles*

"Then, he realized that it was written "ready in 15 minutes" on the box. What was the point in buying pasta if you needed so much time to cook it?" – Loved this. So true. 15 minutes can seem like fifteen millennia when you're starving! LOL

A differently paced chapter, with more focus on both Andy, and on thoughts as a pose to interaction, which provides valuable character development through reflection rather than interaction. I wondered briefly if Ethan set up Andy's accidental meeting with the woman and her son in the supermarket in order to a) help him discover what he is and b) more importantly, in order to get closer to him... LOL...

And of course a good out-take. *grins*

Coffee... m... *tries to resist urge of the kettle* *fails* Gotta love coffee.

Daimot seems such a fun character ab initio. I get the sense something may develop of him – no doubt we shall see. Then he seems to have a hidden sensitivity behind the forwardness. Regarding his scene in Hell, full-frontal passionate kissing seems as good a way as any to relieve a moment of upset! *approves*

Once again a nice out-take. Seems you have a talent for humour as well as for writing, deftly used to add that extra sparkle to your chapter.

Let's proceed... *grins*

So here goes – I told you'd I'd review and here ya go. *smiles* We open with a nice introduction which has introduced Ethan well (nice choice of name by the way) as well as this Andy, and also your supporting characters, as well as set up quite a bit of backstory without writing excessive description. Efficient and clean and of course enjoyable. ;)

The out-takes are a nice idea and it's as well written as the story, plus provides a bit of comedy to finish off the reading of each chapter. The style of this one gives the opening chapter a filmic quality, as if it were being performed for the camera rather than as a written piece. Adds a dimension in many ways. Nicely done.

Aw! It's over already? Well, it was a pretty fun read so I can't complain. Coodos to you for finishing a story. I have trouble doing that... ^^;

WOW!! Thats was nice! Once again you out did yourself with the tones!! I really enjoyed it and i cna't wait to read some of your other works !!

Nice ending, though I thought this story could few more chapters. Still it was a nice ending, will there be a sequal?:)