 FantasizedMusic 2005-07-21 . chapter 1I think I enjoyed this poem so much because of its rhyme pattern. The A-B-C-D-C-D pattern is quite characteristic of a children's sing-song, a lighthearted tone. Your instead have taken it and made it into a reflective piece, a bemoaning piece, a mourning piece. Emotions were good, and my only complaint was that once or twice (most noticably in the second stanza) the rhyme pattern didn't flow right with too many syllables. Otherwise, excellent work here. |