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| Nathan Murray 2005-09-08 ch 1, | abuseA little bit heavy on the Tolkien-esque phrasing, but i like the second-last stanza a lot. The poem did remind me that it has been a long time since I have written. Thanks for giving me a push! |
| Infinity Plus One 2005-08-28 ch 1, | abuseI feel like this sometimes when things haunt me beautiful beautiful poetry. |
| FantasizedMusic 2005-07-21 ch 1, | abuseI think I enjoyed this poem so much because of its rhyme pattern. The A-B-C-D-C-D pattern is quite characteristic of a children's sing-song, a lighthearted tone. Your instead have taken it and made it into a reflective piece, a bemoaning piece, a mourning piece. Emotions were good, and my only complaint was that once or twice (most noticably in the second stanza) the rhyme pattern didn't flow right with too many syllables. Otherwise, excellent work here. |