Heh. I like Betham. She's awesome. ^^

Good chappur. -nods- Who or what is Yhragan? Or did I miss something...?

hey! tis me, Bob, from world gate. omg, i absolutely love this so far! its fabulous. im jealous...well, there were a few little spots where your setnence structure could use a little work, but other than that i really enjoyed it. update soon?

this was kinda perverted... @_@ but you are a good wirter. betham is a **! sing with me! ** ** **! she reminds me of chockey's ex girlfriend if you know who he is...

Good chapter. Character development, AND smut! I like smut. Smut can never hurt you.

Um. Anyway. I like Betham (well, actually I don't, she's kind of a **), and I like Andar, 'cause he's just cool. Keep it up. Or else.

-Sal

Bloodlust!! You write it so well, although it sounds kinda orgasmic... haha, that's fine though, and i really wouldn't know. wow, betham's kind of slutty in this chapter... i wonder what kind of trouble our man andar shall get himself into...

The thing about the "mud" and hair... reminds me of a scene from Howl's Moving Castle. "MY HAIR! LOOK! OBSERVE! INSPECT! IT'S GINGER! I SHALL HAVE TO HIDE UNTIL IT GROWS OUT! AGUISH! DESPAIR! HORROR! WHAT IS THE POINT OF LIVING IF I'M NOT BEAUTIFUL?"

I swear, what Howl said was almost exactly like that. XD

You have great style, it flows well and your characters are realistic. I would like to see just where this will go!

"Don't you remember, love? The time you came home covered in it and I had to lick it off so you'd stop bawling over your beautiful hair?"

That was priceless. I am liking the sarcasm. Scotland, eh?

i really do love the richness of the relationship between andar and betham. they seem very human, the way that they interact-- they love each other but they really can't stand each other ocasionally. it makes for a lot of depth in their world, as well as the good description. great job and keep writing!

it's quite good so far, you have a very fluid style that flows well. i am eager to see where this goes.

Andar, you are an awesome writer and if you ever say otherwise so help me I'll throw all the various office supplies youve chucked at me over the ocean back to you WITH NO MERCY! I love the contrasts between Betham and Andar's characters. You really take the care to make them quite a couple-- they're characters with a lot of depth and humanism, and I can't wait to see what ensues between them...

This is excellent. Reminds me a bit of Dune... man I love that book. Update, please. This is too good to leave alone.

You have a wonderfully smooth style that flows nicely and is easy to read. I like how you've written this and you stopped at such a good point. Keep it up =P

Hooray for story! I hope you don't give up. I wonder what will happen to poor Andar! He sounds hot... XD

Is Andar human in this first chappie? Well, I suppose so, since he gets bitten! Sorry, I'm a little slow. On a sugar low right now, augh.

Anyways, it's good, and I'm definitely coming back!

I like it - the description's wonderful. Keep up the good work!