I love this. The formatting pushes the tempo along, giveing it this vibrant feeling as if the poem has come to life. And, of course, I completely agree with everyone that the last two lines are bloody brilliant. Well done!

This is going on my favs.

Daphne

Love the message and love the structure. A nice mix of everything. Beautiful to read and look at.

loved the downwards words. great title, great force & feeling. love the message & the subtlety. great job.

-salt.

this is brilliant. god, and those last two lines...::sighes::

awesome

Seems like a heavy mix of all the poetry formats you can get; CAPS no caps/()w-o-r-d-s likethisand .

Parts work well, like the downwards glides, but 'through metallic/(pores)' the use of (pores) seems pointless.

'raw/bleeding/bruised/battered' Again, this works well - 'as if take your pick'.

The last two verses are gold. Brilliant. (and coincidentally I've read something similar just before)

Every time I read a poem about homosexuality it has a childish vibe about it. This one doesn't. I really like it alot.

sounds like loveabuse, an abusive relationship. form-wise it is VERY pretty. i just glanced at it once before reading it and it looked well... visually pleasing ; i love the.. revolutionary aspect in your poetry. something religious in here too.

"he has no shame/(and i envy that"you are amazing. definatly going on my favorites list.

Really nice. I love your stuff.

beautiful and in all honesty just amazing. well worded and deep, though a bit creepy and tragic. lovely.

!* noelle *!