Nice rhythm. At the "Happiness is so rare... don't even bother to fight" lines, though, it could run a tad bit more smoothly The second line there has a syllable or two more than to make it run smoothly.

A tad negative, but I suppose it's truthful, and that's really what counts. I despise optimism, when people know it's really not true and lying is just going to hurt more.

G'job ^^

Wow! I LOVED this poem! It is so awesome. Keep writing.

it's good, i like the rhyming, i'm all about rhyming! keep it up, can't wait to hear more!

no, this isn't bad at all. i don't usually go for poems like this, but i would not lie to you, it is not bad at all. i really like "your life's a different track" for some reason.-- ah, yes, thank you so much for the crescendo-decrescendo information. i was not even thinking, i should have paid attention to my words. so thanks.

no 1 could say it better.