...I'd like to see more story. This is very very interesting.

Ooh, cliff-hangy. Reading on...

This is a great read, very fascinating, even. However, I'd like to point out that it's against proper conventions to put a whole chapter or a whole character's dialogue (unless the dialogue is thought, not spoken) in italics. Otherwise, great job. I'll read on. (And I believe someone said this already, but you never mentioned which gods got which people, although I suppose you might be able to mention that later, or perhaps it's not really important.)

Nice story.However, the story did not say which god has which side.Please also review my stories

hey again. Sorry I haven't read this in awhile- vacation and stuff. Well anyways, I think it is still really good. Does Bek have some special power?

Also, thanks for explaining a little more exactly what a necromancer does. It clarifyed things up, even though I already had a general idea. I'm looking forward to an update!

A good start! Moria (whenever I read the name i think of LOTR) is an interesting character. I'm still not sure which way you will take with her- will she be a compassionate, wise leader, or one of those relentless, regal ones.

I was surprised (not in a bad way) that the Mahans have stayed loyal to Maha- in most stories the humans think they are too good for their benefactors, they begin to show disrespect, etc. It's cool the way you have it.

Also how did Adrianna and the king die? Are we going to find that out?I really like the story, so keep going!

I am a bit confused with why Moria does tell all the information to Bek, and why does she trust Bek. Does he threaten her with torture? Does she strive to stay alive for her people, and she is afraid that if she does not tell them what they want to know that she will die? Or does she feel that the force of Maha is so great that the Pirons cannot overcome it?

The dream sequence was nice piece though.

ANd, lady, you write too many stories!! :) You need to update this. I am wanting to know if Moria gets resecued or does she manage to escape.

So, I wonder what her spells was suppose to be on the mountain. Is she just trying to gain power?

The ressurrection of ANguis was an interesting little piece. I like that he doesn't want to come back, and he just wants to go ahead and die, but I feel that indeed Moria is being cruel in the ressurrection, because she needs a descent healing spell to go with it. After all, he still has a sizeable hole in the throat..

Okay. I read this chapter a few days ago, but I haven't had much of a chance to leave a review.

Between what I have read later on and now, Moria must have a little crush on Anguis. It is kind of a subtle thing, indeed, but she does strike me as the type, who would most likely end up marrying one of the nobles out of duty.

I did especially like the scene with the pirons. It makes for an interesting perspective to see the heros of the story seen as villains, and see some of the normal stereotypes in their opinion.

First of all, wow, very good style in the prologue. It almost made me believe that the Mahans really exist and that they wrote that legend. Also, you did a very good job of introducing Moria and making me wonder about the queen at the same time. Adrianna seems to be a recurring character as well--maybe she'll be important later on? The culture you've created for the Mahans is very interesting...My only complaint is that I can't really get a consistent picture of Moria's character. One minute she's yelling, and the next moment she's being sweet to her maid. Sometimes she refuses to let anyone tell her what to do, but then she starts blindly following Bek's suggestions and answering his questions. I understand that she does that because the goddess seems to favor him, but she doesn't seem to consider that she could be wrong about that. However, all the sudden changes make Moria a very interesting character, so it could be a good effect. Keep writing! :p

I'm really liking the plot right now. The concept of necromancy is enthralling and fascinating.

I can't blame Moria for not taking the regent's choice of guards. He'd have the most to gain from her demise. A sharp young woman she is. Yet, somehow she comes off a bit abrupt. Still, I can't complain. It is special when writing about a monarch of your own creation, and you have to figurew out what they can do without being slaughtered by their own people or by intrigue. I write about such nice people.

I like this story b/c somebody has my real name!! lol. I am very into it!

Hey had a look at your story and I like the plot and the way it's going, so I can't wait to see what comes next!

But just a few things i think you could expand on.

In the second chapter, you talk about the royal couple Guido and Adrianna and how she is an "alien waif" and he's deeply in love with her, but "She was fond of him, and grateful to him for rescuing her from a life of hardship, but she was not in love with him" I think maybe you could explain their relationship and history a bit more.

Also in the second chapter, perhaps you could also write a bit more about necromancy: who possesses it, what are its uses etc. (Maybe as a paragraph in the prologue perhaps?) because some people wouldn't really understand what it is.

There's also a massive gap between the royal couple catching their daughter conversing with a ghost and her being crowned, and it could have maybe a few paragraph explaining how they actually deceased and what happened to the princess after their deaths, just so there's not so much of a jump and so the reader doesn't get confused.

So here are my suggestions, you don't have to follow them if you don't have to and if I seem critising or patronising in any way I'm sorry, because I think this is a good story and I can't wait for you to update!

-Mickey

This is really promising!! ^^