I really like it! You know, I can really hear a backstory behind this, so if you ever want to write it, I think it'd be good. But that's just my opion. Do what you want! ^_^

Pretty, pretty... Beautiful imagery. The idea of griffins (I'm just used to spelling it this way) and unicorns roaming our land has always tickled me. I adore the way you've expressed this. I also like the way you showed the progression of the poem in the kind of 'repeated' stanza.

Very cool poem. =D

Yes...I can see why you'd want to make this a song, also. I always liked songs that had partially-changing choruses like that. :) Gave continuity and something new at the same time.

Again, you just have this sense for mystical wording, even without the old English thrown in...a shroud of wishes' tombs. Wow. I just love the whole picture here, it could make a good story, if you took the general idea and developed it more. In the human's eye, because the humans now see...I just like the little complex implications, those make everything more awesome. :)

I really don't have any suggestions, this is really spiffy the way it is. I do wonder where you came up with the idea of "horses are for beggars," though...it seems to make some vague sort of sense, if connected to the unicorns...but maybe that's good too, it makes you think. Thinking is always good. :P

I know I already reviewed this, but after reading it over and over(it's my favorite poem, now) I have discovered something that could make the poem better.It is really only a small thing, one that is not necessary, but, are you ready(?), here's what I think.

In the last line the "and" should be a "now" because and implies that and oath changing the world and all the beggars riding have nothing to do with each other. A "now" there would say that all the beggars ride because (the world has changed) an oath has changed the world.

~j

I like it!

It would go really well with music of some sort, and I like all the examples:

Unicorns,Gryphons,Dragons,etc.

Really nice. I'm rambling again, I do that in reviews. I'll go read your other stuff now. =D

~j

PS. You DO have other stuff, right?

This would make a nice song =) Anywho - I like this poem of yours. I love your use of words... so descriptive and well... poetic (lol but of course). Flows very nicely... and I would love to see it turned into a song =) Keep on writing!

That would make a neat song! If I could, I'd help you with the writing, but... I need to have a piano and staff paper (or at least a paper) to do anything. I'm limited in that respect... A nice rhythm jumped to mind, but I couldn't find a tune.

wow that was amazing. No matter how hard I try i can never really write poetic things like that. Anyways great job.