I think you have a solid start to an interesting story here. You do need a lot of editing and revision, but you've started with an interesting topic that I wouldn't mind reading the rest of once you've finished. Good work.

-[Chaotic0ne]

Wow, you should definetly finish this. So far I like Riley and Jake.

You need someone to spell check for you though, and the grammar mistakes are driving me up the fic'n wall!

Quick question before you yell at me for the above remarks: Do you plan to end up like Riley any time in the near future? Tootle Pip, Sheep-Dog!!