FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| sixtytwokg 2005-06-16 ch 1,  | abusei thought it was pretty effective, and i like the simple voice, makes everything pleasantly subtle, it seems like you had no trouble in just keeping things real, i personally have difficulty with that |
| fragmented blue 2005-06-16 ch 1, | abuseI enjoyed this story, even though it was so short. ^^ Maybe if you could have gone into a little more detail, like having the old man talk a little more about his experience, it would have made the rest of the story more meaningful. Anyway, it's a sweet story, especially when the older man recalls how his wife looked when she came out in that dress. yanagi-chan |