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| strictreader 2005-10-14 ch 4,  | abuse*sighs* sad but true...violence, manipulation, lust...easier to succumb to them than uphold purity...*shrug* nobody's perfect... |
| Pothe 2005-07-24 ch 3, | abuseooh I love how you have portreyed this vampire clan, if you will, as very closely bonded and all caring for one another...not the usual approach for usually stories portrey them as bonded, but mostly resentful of it. nice to see a change. anyways I await the next chapter my dear!- POthe |
| Gata De La Noche 2005-07-23 ch 3, | abuseEven if it was a short chapter, it was good. My only question is are they actually succubae and incubus or what? Are you simply using the term or the aspecs it implies. I wasn't sure, so I thought I'd ask. Your descriptions are very well done. And you seem to have quite a few diverse characters coming out. Very good job. Can't wait for more! Later! Gata de la Noche |
| Kat 2005-07-22 ch 3, anon. | abuseAwesome chapter! That's all you can say. Can't wait for more, so update soon. Later. |
| strictreader 2005-07-22 ch 3, | abuseWow...that was excellent...yet strangely harsh. The poor thing. Fate is cruel, yes? |
| strictreader 2005-07-02 ch 2, | abuseAw, jeez, that's some crap...I like this story, it's excellent! |
| Gata De La Noche 2005-06-24 ch 2, | abuseOh no! That makes me sad. Very well written chapter, though. Great detail and such. Great dialogue. Very good. Maybe a few little grammar things, I'm not entirely sure though. Well, good job! I can't wait to read some more! Later! Gata de la Noche |
| Kelly 2005-06-18 ch 2, anon. | abuseAwesome start and I'm loving the story so far. :) |
| Wassatch 2005-06-17 ch 1, | abuseCool story, you did a nice job of drawing the reader in right off the bat. I hope you continue, I'd like to see where this leads. |
| Gata De La Noche 2005-06-17 ch 1, | abuseInteresting story so far. I'm going to guess this is a flashback or something since its all italicized. A few little typos, like where you left out a word or switched tenses. Maybe a quick read-through before posting to catch those. Good detail and all. Creates a great picture for the reader to see. The only other thing i have to say is a suggestion. To help the story flow better, try not to start too many sentences with He (or similar) in a row. It begins to make it sound choppy and repetitive. There were one or two paragraphs where that happened, but it wasn't bad in that area. Overall, very interesting. I'll be waiting for some more. Later! Gata de la Noche |
| Safekht 2005-06-17 ch 1, | abuseVery perceptive attention to detail, although a bit inquisitive as to why the entire thing was typed in italics. A flashback, perhaps? Maybe so, but it's too early to tell for me at this point. Anyway, hope to see it updated soon! |
| Pothe 2005-06-17 ch 1, | abusenice transition from the innocence of the child the demons that the father must kill. beautiful visual dear, can't wait to read more.-pothe |