|Reviews for Necessary Evil: The Godseed|
| dreamshell 1/3/07 . chapter 8
Just read Godseed and enjoyed it immensely. :) I read through the other reviews, so I won't bug you with a repeat of pointing out typos or whining about the lack of clarity in the telepathic convos sometimes.
The TUL sounds like *the* best thing ever. An absolute utopia for any true sci-fi fan. And there are some parallels to video game basics that amuse and enthrall me.
Very thick story. Politics, religion, social issues, technology, all very inspiring. Really got me brainstorming.
Just because I have to, I must say Bressian is one sick bastard, which I love. The Furherhedrin, Beppo Zyklon, and Kitian are also pretty entertaining. I guess I just love villains.
Can't wait to start Godforge! :)
| jon-1308 4/9/06 . chapter 8
This is a very interesting beginning to the trilogy and some interesting issues were raised. I like books that make me think and I look forward to the next two.
However, my one problem with this book is that there are numerous long telepathic conversations, and the thoughts of the different participants are not clearly differentiated. This is not a problem in a conversation lasting only a couple of lines but, by the end of a page of conversation, I have completely lost track of which person is which. Perhaps labelling the different participants somehow would be a good idea, since there are at least five different telepathic entities here? For example:
[G] So, it seems wherever this one mortal goes, our attention is turned.[V] It is as if we are being guided along by him.[G] Just imagine it! The Almighty’s attention being led around by one of his own creations.[V] I have no imagination, literally. I am Nonexistence, after all...etc...
As long as this was done in a consistent way throughout the book, it would make it a *lot* easier to read. Onwards to the next book!
| Alankria 1/9/06 . chapter 4
Again, you have put Tom's thought/speech in bold a lot of the time, when it would benefit from being in plain italics. Also, you could do with clarifying that Gotwon speaks to him as it took a moment for me to suss that (either that or I'm being slow).Other than that, this was a very interesting chapter. The talk of the other humans is interesting, and I note that you didn't explain the bug things; also, I see you mentioned the Godseed. Obviously that will play a role in the story. Good stuff!
| Alankria 1/9/06 . chapter 3
Fairly early on, you've made all the thought/speech bold, when Thomas' should presumably be in plain italics to make it clearer who's speaking. Especially as you don't use tags for the thoughts, you should change the boldness.
I think it would benefit the previous chapter to end it when Harrison drives to the warehouse. After that, the summarising became even more clinical, and in this chapter you say it all much more effectively.
This 'perfect' society is quite creepy, though the stamina bar and time-slowing features remind me of FPS games :D A lot of dialogue, perhaps it could have been interspersed with a handful more paragraphs about Thomas' thoughts/reactions to what he's being told. Most of it is evident in his thought/speech, but it would help to break up the long stretch of dialogue.
| Alankria 1/9/06 . chapter 2
Greetings. This looks like an interesting beginning. I noticed in your author's note at the beginning that you want to improve the story, and in light of that - this chapter felt like a very clinical, blow-by-blow summary, rather than getting deep into the characters' heads while events unfolded. It wasn't as eloquent as some of your other writing. Still, I enjoyed it; the plot seems to be all there, as usual.
| Arej 10/28/05 . chapter 5
As I go.
"There was three..." there WERE three.
"something would easily..." perhaps you mean 'something that would easily'?
"worry about behind flanked..." I think you mean being, not behind.
Other than that...
Great stars! Well, I've never heard the 'Almighty', as you call it, described in quite that way. Nice way, understandable way, but unusual. Hmm...
Hood has lost his mind. Someone shoot him, please, before he kills more innocents. He's just taken on the blasted war-mentaility there are no innocents. Perhaps not, but there are those who do not deserve to die in such a way. The 'innocent civilians' in that room were some of those. Hood has lost his mind over Marian, and someone needs to slap some sense into him. And John, too, because John's following in the war-mentality, which may or may not develop into a mob-mentaility. Bad things ahead...
The story-telling skills you have are amazing. Everything happens in such an abstract way, it kinda throws a person off course, but the story itself pulls you back on no matter what...wow.
| Arej 10/28/05 . chapter 4
I have returned! As I go...
Okay. After GOTWON tells Tom he has to find the cube, everything's suddenly bold. Why? Formatting troubles?
"Tp, again" looks like a typo. I guess you meant Tom?
"a smiled crossed..." smiled should be smile. Just a mechanical error.
"stories were politicians..." I think you meant where, not were
"the day where Thomas..." It might be better if you said the day when instead.
THEY CHANGED HIM! I know, typical reaction, but it seems so wrong. I suppose the society would be better, maybe, but it seems so strange that humanity would be governed by technology. No, that humanity would be virtually extinct, except for the Remnants. It's weird. Good weird, good uncomfortable weird, but weird all the same. Not that weird is bad.
| InsaneIce 10/21/05 . chapter 5
As I go...
"There [were] three terraformed planets..."
Umm...just a question, but are you having formatting problems?
Anyway, reading on. Good chappy, BTW.
BB - Willow
| InsaneIce 10/21/05 . chapter 4
I'm BACK! Aren't you scared?
Oh boy...The PYR is another Louis XIV...and Hitler...mixed together...
"Tp, again focused on his surroundings" What is Tp?
"he saw his acceleration of the normal flow of time was costly" But he slowed down time, so wouldn't it be decelleration?
"wouldn’t hormones be frown upon?" "frown" should be frowned.
Good chappy. A few minor errors that i noted, but we all make mistakes.
Yay! More to read!
BB - Willow
| InsaneIce 10/21/05 . chapter 3
Oh Cool...I thought the 'changes' would be bad for Thomas, but they're actually REALLY cool...
And now I'm addicted...
BB - Willow
| InsaneIce 10/21/05 . chapter 2
Hi there...I decided to randomly pop up and bug you...
No! They can't CHANGE him! That's not...well...nice! (I was going to say human, but they're not human, so...)
Anyway. Reading on now...
BB - Willow
| Arej 10/21/05 . chapter 3
Holy crap. Wow. Lots of strange, spiff and interesting things going on here. This society sounds a little whacked - perfectly acceptable as real, but whacked - and not really something we of today would be comfortable with.
Would it work? Perhpas. It sounds like it would work, but I can't be sure. It all depends on technology, really. Which, in this day and age, seems to be almost overpoweringly common. Not at all something someone strange and unusual like me is uncomfortable with. (I had much the same questions as Thomas. But not the same viewpoint.)
It was good, very good, ganz gut. (Excuse the German). I'm hooked on this. Which means that, once I've finished this one and the second one and the third one, I'll bug you for eternity (Using eternity as a figure of speech).
| Arej 10/19/05 . chapter 2
As I go.
"...doubled checked." Should be double checked.
"grasped it stern..." it or it's? Unclear here.
NO! They changed him! Not cool, and not neccessary (or so I believe). But so WRONG! EVIL! AH!
| Scraper 8/5/05 . chapter 8
Finally, I was able to finish the first part! I really LOVED this, and it's really the story I would like to use for my report...
My only complaint here is that it seems to lag whenever the weaponry is being described (or it could just be that I really dont understand half of all that technical stuff).
But I really like the different discussions on religion. I myself am a bit of an agnostic, and my views are rather different from the standard orthodox christian teachings. I think a lot about religion, and often end up doing debates with my step-grandfather who is a devout Catholic. I also go to a Catholic Girl's school and even there, my ideals are met with hostility for the most part. It's a bit annoying to have classmates asking if I'm an atheist, or teachers coming up to you with little cards and bookmarks saying "Wont yo let Jesus into your heart?" or "turn to the light". The worst time was when I called out of class just to have this long talk with a nun who tried to "enlighten" me. It's silly really. Their idea is that I'm simply too young to have such "serious belief" and that I dont know enough to believe in anything other than what was taught to me. They must be thinking I dont read the bible or something. I dont know, I think I'm a bit of everything as far as religion goes. I like combining values from many sources as opposed to just one.
Oh yes, I especially took a liking to Gotwon and the void in this piece. I like their "personalities" if you will. The almighty and Thomas becoming or being one also caught my interest. I also want to hear more of Bressian. I dont know, having a sadistic sex maniac around is interesting in some ways. An obsessive deranged villain always catches my attention. The sheer monstrous mind of an otherwise human charcacter is fantastic!
| Alnitak Z Orionis 7/13/05 . chapter 8
How could I have missed this? Probably the comings and goings here.
IT seems like Bressian and Ruckil are brothers.
You should divide the scene of Bressian and Thomas.
The intricacies of war is well displayed here with the different factions and changing loyalties.
I like how you portray corporate greed, and how it can ruin cities, in this case planets. (Kitian) He too is a brutal one.
Very interesting ending for the first part.
Good Job! *_*