Its a good idea. I like the whole dog thing. The probelm is though that many people don't get very far with Dogs as main characters without it being a childrens book. Good idea though

Hmm...a very interesting story, though it seems to be a bit more sci-fi then fantasy..

My biggest CC would be to break up your paragraphs. Long chuncks of text are rather hard to read off of a computer screen without getting lost along the way.

My second and third CCs are already written out in great detail at the links below:

http://w.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1942775&chapter=3

http://w.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1942775&chapter=4