FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Megan 2005-07-02 ch 1, anon. | abuseyour perspective isn't new per se, but it certainly is nicely addressed. I like hte metaphor on the girl with the brown eyes...reminds me alot of the Beat Generation poets who applied similar imagery. |
| thank you thoughtful 2005-06-30 ch 1,  | abuseyour writing is a total assault to the senses. that's what it is and that's what i meant to say. it's brilliant, really. |
| addie pray 2005-06-28 ch 1, | abuseGod, this is so wrenching. So well written, I love this. The ending screams (it's gorgeous). |
| omehh. 2005-06-23 ch 1, anon. | abuseHAI. WOW. THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY. |
| Nobody-n-Particular 2005-06-22 ch 1, | abuseWow mismatching of genders adds to the style of this. I like, I like immensely. Powerful diction. |
| linaeve 2005-06-22 ch 1, | abuselovely last stanza. the entire thing was brilliant, really. the simple rawness of this was beautifully executed-- i liked it muchly. |
| Kissless Goodbye 2005-06-22 ch 1, | abusewow I love it. I write a lot of poetry and well although I like what I write, I wish I could write like this. It was great.. so decieving. Its great.. |
| Ruth Anne Boothe 2005-06-22 ch 1, | abuseOMG ... that last stanza held quite a punch. Wonderful .. and terribly sad. |
| Aqua Illuminati 2005-06-22 ch 1, | abuseOh my, this certainly is a new perspective! It's definitely original enough, I'd give you a 10 for that. It's descriptive enough - I like the imagery, especially in the fourth last stanza. I especially love the part, "and hug the biscuit tin filled with his money"! The third stanza is a bit...I don't know...campy maybe? The idea of the Barbie is a turnoff...but whatever floats your boat. And no doubt we know how horrid the patron is. And overall a really nice poem! I'd give it a 8/10. |
| negligible fictional force 2005-06-22 ch 1, | abusefirstly, i want to commend you for your fantastic results on a first experimentation. this is a delicious piece; full of sincity-esque imagery and sadness and emo-ism that comes together to form a beautifully insanely tragic picturefilm. plays back pretty, too. love it i do. |