FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Moonjava 2005-08-29 ch 1,  | abuseVery deep. Really emotional. |
| cynicaldays 2005-08-18 ch 1, | abuseThis seems almost unrealisticly angry. The idea that someone would victimize themselves like this is almost as disgusting as the victimization. |
| vonlan 2005-08-17 ch 1, | abuse'without a care in the world, you bastard' comma in the wrong spot? ... or done or purpose? its quite moving, in a way. yet in my opinion, i don't like these sort of poems so i can't give a review without being biased. |
| The Melissa Occult 2005-07-20 ch 1, | abuseAgain, interesting. I don't guess you're much of a stubble woman. The end leaves me wondering a little, it poses the question of "well why not?" and a few conclusions can be reached. As I said, interesting. |
| AntiPleasure 2005-07-07 ch 1, | abuseRaw, simply told. I don't know if this happened to you: but that's what fiction is about. Good use and placement of your words to tell a story. Jenna |
| youzi 2005-07-07 ch 1, | abusecrude, an arrestingly straightfoward piece! loved how unpertentious this piece was..and how the descriptions were vivid and without superflous adornment (yet still impactful)..do keep writing! P.S. sorry abt being "gone" for so long...was having a series of evil exams =( |
| AboveTheSalt 2005-07-05 ch 1, | abuseabwneljk. tragic. grotesque. horrifying. horrible. hopeful. everything you were trying to convey and more. wow. |
| lackluster 2005-07-02 ch 1, | abusewow, the images are so raw and...vivid. awsome work! ~tuesday |
| liz anya 2005-06-30 ch 1, | abuseVery descriptive, very strong. |
| Made in U.S.A. 2005-06-27 ch 1, | abusethis is an amazing depiction of horror. great job and keep writing:D |
| kalmia raphael 2005-06-26 ch 1, | abusemuch love. realizing again the thing i told you about your style changing but being equally as good as your old style. this is really straightforward but for some reason i still feel like the speaker is numbed / hiding something, not saying all that he wants to. or she. not that that's a bad thing, its like... the poem is charged with unsaid words. but what he does say... its simple, its powerful and i feel like the speaker is trying his best to stay strong. i love the ending. i can't decide whether its relieved or disappointed. |
| TwystedFate 2005-06-25 ch 1, | abuseAs always, incredible. I love your flow and your word choice. I can only imagine the story behind this one. Lovely work. |
| in theory 2005-06-25 ch 1, | abuseDelicious. I like the split punctuation thing(y) on the third line, the comma..it stuck out in my mind. Great work. |
| B. M. Reed 2005-06-24 ch 1, | abuseI love this! |
| kylacohen 2005-06-24 ch 1, anon. | abusei like it. I think on the last line the word doesn't should be hasn't, because it doesn't make all that much sense: "but you don't notice because you mouth doesn't touch my lips again." Noticing is something you observe, you don't notice something by not doing something. You know? I think hasn't would be more appropriate, "but you don't notice because your mouth hasn't touched my lips again." meaning.. he hasn't noticed because he hasn't been given the oppurtunity. Erm, just a thought. Great poem though. I hope it's not from real life :( |