| Reviews for Guilty Advantage |
|---|
Forbidden Secrets 10/7/05 . chapter 1it's short, sweet, and I can totally relate to it. Good work. |
midnighteyes-xo 9/5/05 . chapter 1Very powerful piece. I can't say this reminds me of myself in the sense that people cry on my shoulder, but rather in a reversed role. i think that the reason this poem touched me so much is that I cry on my friend's shoulders a lot, and it shows me perhaps how they are feeling when i do so. very peculiar. anyways, lovely poem, maybe just remembering punctuation at the end. Otherwise, brilliant effort, very good mood, lovely rhythm. I greatly enjoyed it. |
Venustas iaceo 8/26/05 . chapter 1Erm...oddly enough the same thing happened with me yesterday. |
aomori 7/30/05 . chapter 1Excellently done. Doesn't go too far, but goes just enough to get the feel of things. A few short, simple yet loaded lines. Your writing style is something to envy. Yours,-Nyx |
iona-buss 7/2/05 . chapter 1Hmm interesting poem and well written. I read someone saying that you should've gone into it a bit more. But I think its just perfect. I think in this poem you didn't want to go too far. I think you said enough in 'oh god, her head's against my shoulder And it s enough.' You don't need to go any deeper its deep enough with that, not explaining everything can sometimes make the situation seem even sadder, thinking that the poet couldn't or didn't want to express it. I know alot of poetry is about expressing yourself, but sometimes you allow the reader to feel without all the words there and you did this here, by not saying too much you said more. Sorry I'm kind of hopeless and explaning what I mean very well, (my excuse being that its very early)! You phrased it very well and the poem came across very well reading it. |
Yuri Kiryu 6/27/05 . chapter 1Hey just read this poem it's really good! I can picture it well. Thank you for the review I really appreciate it. |
Princess-anna57 6/25/05 . chapter 1You hit it! Well done! Thanks for reviewing me too! Anna |
keito desu 6/25/05 . chapter 1Anna, this poem is very moving and sad. It's short, but that is what makes it even better; you are forced to think about situations that you have been in and how they were handled. "Her heads against my shoulder and I'm falling", this line is my favorite! |
quiet-zone 6/24/05 . chapter 1Not like your usual work. 8 lines. Short and nice! |
Major General 6/23/05 . chapter 1Its ok, but I would like for you to continue it. I know what you were loking for, but you should go into it more. Check out some of my work. |
citrus scented 6/23/05 . chapter 1ah i sense something deeper here...very honest and cryptic poem. |