wasnt bad. was to the pt and true. nice writing!

Well, when you said that we shouldn't read it, it made me want to even more. :-D And I'm glad! It's really good!

And point taken bout the song. Clearly I should pay a little more attention to music...*shifty glance*... lol.

The poem was good, and I liked it. It seemed almost the way a person thinks really.

Trins x

i like the idea...although i agree that it could use some work...however, the basis is there...just expand upon it!! keep writing!

It doesn't suck, though I would agree that it could use a lot of work. However, it has a wonderful message, and I'd advise you to explore different styles of writing and detail to express it. You're on to something good, you just need to expand it. Nice work. ~TheCryingGame