You're right about the flow, unfortunately it's not so lubricated. But your metaphors are really fantastic! I loved this. Great job :)

Man, I love your poems. They're so damn beautiful.

i thought it was really well written...beautiful piece actually...keep writing!

powerful description... I can feel the thunder roar its war cry deep and hollow, resonating across the sky. Lightning a screaming whip that lashes through the cavalry of clouds, startling everything in its wake. Rain hammering down hard like an advancing army, cold and furious. Really great poem.

It shouldn't flow, thunderstorms and armies don't flow-it's sporadic. Despite the fact that I've seen this metaphor countless times, you tell it well. Nicely done.

Nonsence, this flows fine. Very nice. I love your use of metaphor. I envy ur poetry skills...lol

I am Ryter! And Ryter is me!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! FEAR THE POWER OF THE SPORK!

And I say, that this is good.

Zoink!

I like it, esp. the imagery.

*grins* Lovely description as always. And cool symbolism.

Interesting thoughts. I envy your amazing talents.

i like it-it works-war and storms don't flow-so it really works well-i loved it-great job...