This is great. The rhyming flows well. It could be a bit more... deep or personal are the words I'm looking for, I think. But overall, a great poem!

I see room for improvement. To begin with, don't be so bland, when you're expressing the feelings of love, you're being way too obvious. Think of your word choice. poetry doesn't have to rhyme, when you don't do so, it makes your work sound more professional.

really good...i have never read anything like it before!! = )

True, very true. Over all, I enjoyed reading it. I loved it, deep.