Sorry, I've been on vacation.

This is brilliant. The standard has gone up so much, and now I really get a sense of what Zack is going through. Good job, please don't stop!

Nice chapter. Descriptions were much better. There were a few mistakes, although most of them seemed to be the result of you leaving out a word or two in a sentence. This makes for a confusing read, so I would suggest a revision before you post.

For example: [Should try putting toothpick in microwave] That doesn't really make sense. I knew what you were trying to say, but you missed an 'a' twice.

And this sentence: [If wanting to pay big price. Is probably being tested…] I really don't know what that was trying to say... It sounds almost like a caveman talking.

Anyway, keep it up. I'll be sure to read on!

Sorry. Holidays have seperated me from my computer for 10 days. Soon I'll be gone for another 5 weeks! I'll go crazy! Gah.

But anyway, this is a great story. I like how Dirk's fascination with a certain type of hero links with his brother's family situation. I think that's how it's meant to be...oh well. This is great stuff nevertheless!

Interesting story so far. I like the idea of the magnetism. I hope soon you will delve into the origin's of Zack's power, because, as of right now, the reader doesn't know why, but it seems as though Zack does know why he has his powers. Am I correct, or does Zack not know why?

Anyway, the story was very well written, but it could have used a bit more description of the settings and characters.

Well, please continue. I'll make sure to keep reading! :)

No problemo!

I thought this was very good. Written in the style of a 'proper' book. Not sure how that's meant to sound, but, in short, this was a good chapter!

Good start. Though, I have to think up the scenery and character appearance entirely from scratch. That's good in one way, but you might want to be more descriptive. Characterisation is good, though.