oh my... its so sad and beautiful, what a emotional story. Its lovely.

I really like this.Good details.Nice story.Amber

Love the little details that make the story so vivid. Makes you wonder how much one can really take...

I love the mood and tone to this story. It's very realistic, and as I read on I feel exactly how the narrator is feeling.

Congratulations! you've written a story that's very enjoyable to read over and over again.

Beautiful, emotive, powerful. "First she writes: I heard a man die yesterday, and leaves it there, but before she’s out the door, she’s changed her mind, and she crumples it up and stuffs it in her pocket before scribbling a new note and leaving." This passage, more than any other, touched me. It embodies the whole tone and message of the story. You've touched on many different themes here, but have woven them together seamlessly. For example, I believe that the conflict between status quo and uncertainty operates in tandem with her struggle to separate habit from happiness - and they compliment each other in the process. Well done, impressive and worth many repeat reads.

Good content. Very descriptive. Very visual. The story reminds me of a case study I did about two roomies talking via post-its; it was a lecture on dysfunctional communications.

I cannot decide, however, whether I like your writing style in this piece. The sentences are too complicated and too Latinized in structure. They border on run-on, yet also evoke a sense of the character’s stream of consciousness. It wouldn’t hurt if you replaced the commas with a period of semi-colon here and there though. Because there are so many descriptive phrases, watch out for dangling modifiers. (I know that I fall victim to that misktae all the time.)

Gosh, that's so morbid.

so sadand so beautiful.

great piece. very full of emotions. it portrays very well the feelings that she feels throughout the whole piece, and how he feels when she leaves.

Okay.. so you use the word She.. A lot but I can understand that.

A couple things that, well just didn't feel right

She wakes at the crack of dawn every morning, as the first rays of light creep through the curtains -(and fall across her feet).

It's just what they need-in and out at different times-but she's never called the number because she's knows (she's just fooling herself.) I guess it just sounds wrong for me.. Maybe try different wording.

When she gets home, late in the afternoon, early in the evening, there's no one there, just a white apartment full of dust and twilight, and willow-the-wisps of dreams(-) And a note on the pillow, every day. Uhm here... it' s apart of the same thought… Sort of so you COULD replace the period

I think with the ending maybe it would be stronger if you changed it .. Uhm I guess this really isn't helpful however.. you know

It's always nice trying out more powerfull words.