i really like this story!! and her and flin got together... aw! flin is so adorable!!

Hah, get them on a minor charge. We'd better find out who she was intending to poison though!

*clicks the >> button*

Liss shows a lot of courage here. You can taste her anxiety, and see her working past that. It makes her into a much more real, imperfect but admirable, person.

Rushed? Maybe a bit. But I like quick pacing. For a spy novel, I would think that's good. You don't want the tension to slack. Build, release, build, release...you do it fairly well.

Out from one challenge and on to the next!

I really like that Liss is more perceptive of her feelings and the possible feelings of others than most characters in romances. You can only have so much angst and denial before it gets annoying and unrealistic. At least when Liss was in denial about her attraction to Nicar and Flin, she could recognize and somewhat admit it.

It looks like we'll find out more about Yarr, artifacts, and the history of this world. Excellent.

Yeah, Flin is crazy high-profile for a "spy-master." He does better as simply Nicar's right hand man. Imma gunna think of him like that before I get more disturbed by the fact that everyone knew him, BY NAME, except Liss.

Twists and turns!

Actually, it *wasn't* making much sense before for Nicar to back Cadman's rebellion, then turn around and aid Sorang. I mean, it made sense for Nicar to unbalance Harat, but Cadman's not that stupid.

Yup. As transition chapters go, this was effective. Rebekha's suicide gave it color and meaning, but you moved us right swiftly into the next arc of the story. The pacing is good. Somehow it feels like it's floating, lingering...like how Liss is drifting along in depression...but it's actually very succinct and to the point.

This was a nice contrast to the previous chapters. The disjunction between ending the last chapter with Liss in rags in the forest, and then waking up here to pull silks from the closet is beautifully executed. It only highlights the superficiality of her highborn world.

I wonder, though, what is Cliadis' reason for harboring these exiles? It must cost a fortune to maintain the Haratan nobles in such luxury...and they haven't a penny to their names now. It can't be just because the Prince and Princess are good people. I'd imagine the welcome would wear thin quickly.

Ah, Liss has grown, but she still comes across as childish and a bit of an idiot in this chapter~

Has she forgotten that Flin grew up on the streets?

I'm a little confused as to the geography of your world. They do an awful lot of traveling awfully quickly, particularly for a period where getting anywhere (IN WINTER!) was often slow and arduous. I get the impression that these countries are not very large, a lot like late medieval Europe. Which is an interesting change from the sprawling empires of most medieval fantasy settings.

The culture feels a little more post-medieval, though. With the descriptions of the manor houses and estates, and the general living conditions, I'm channeling post-renaissance. It's too clean and refined for the middle ages. The peasant rebellion definitely brings to mind revolutionary France, but I can't seem to fit your world into the Enlightenment. It doesn't seem *that* developed. But the, not everything has to correspond to real history, right?

And yeah, Flin gets around a lot. Almost freakishly so. He can't be that effective a spy if everyone recognizes him by his real name. Plus...I'd always thought a spyMASTER might have more to do with centrally directing the spies and organizing their information than carrying out so much field work himself. Like the director of the CIA doesn't tail Bin Laden personally. One would think he wouldn't have the weeks to waste traveling on foot to Cliadis.

Just something that's been bugging me.

Hahaha. This is interesting, reviewing the story three years after its completion and yet finding your author's notes almost a perfect response. Makes me feel predictable.

Well, perhaps you will find some use in a stream-of-conscious review from someone *as* they read the story. I've got to say something different sometime, right?

Yup. I think I might review every chapter from here on out. You can never have too many reviews, even on a completed story. It encourages other people to read.

I totally empathize with Liss' ultimate reaction to Aric's death. It was like that for me when my grandparents died, too. Not a tear, and for a while I wondered if that made me emotionally deficient. "I repeated the fact that I would never talk to him again, or argue with him, or tease him – but I couldn’t feel it." Pretty much sums it up. I cried in a dream once three months later for my Grandmother, but that's it.

When did we ever get around to thinking that mourning and moving on required demonstrative wails and gallons of saltwater? I'll say it's probably easier for an actor to make themselves cry and fling themselves about the stage than portray numbness and subtly repressed emotion.

See, now THIS is a brilliant way to end a chapter...the last words are chilling, but somehow gentle. Liss has gone through major character development.

Okay, the bit of reflection and embarrassment at the beginning of this chapter has quelled my rage. I'm feeling better about the fainting now that you didn't just dismiss it as somehow completely natural and expected of beleaguered heroines.

Still, all those other ninny maidens/swordswomen/mages-in-training can go jump off a bridge. People KNOW it's a cliché, and yet they still do it. Not even in parody. WHY LORD, WHY?