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| Written 2008-03-24 ch 33,  | abuseyou've done a lovely job! I think your world building was very intelligent, and you seemed to take a page from the french revolution at times. I thought that the spy-work at the beginning was kind of shaky.. though I can't pinpoint why. It's hard for me to believe that she thought they WOULDN'T know. I dno, I know I'm thinking too hard; it's just a fantasy, after all! your story is just so well done that the little implausibilities stand out a bit :) you've done really well. I actually feel weird being done reading, you know? I can't believe it's over. WELL DONE. Congrats on finishing such an epic. |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 31, | abuseAH. WHAT WILL HAPPEN!? You are good at cliff hangers. Luckily I can just click on the next chapter! |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 30, | abuseoh crap. my review accidentally deleted itself. you have a great sentence opener here: "Maturity was my reluctant master, leading me haltingly to the world of adulthood." and a good chapter. way to keep up the suspense for so long! |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 28, | abusegood chapter! I loved the parts of the long speech you put in... hahaha. |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 27, | abuseyay he's back! sad though... story's nearly over... D: |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 26, | abusewow! excellent. guess she wasn't over aric after all... sad. |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 23, | abusearic's fiancee might be getting over him! haha... but in all seriousness... |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 20, | abuseI actually got a little teary. wow. |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 19, | abuseD: NOO. Well... at least their enemies aren't all that bad? |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 15, | abuseoh man, I can't wait to see what happens next! good old flin D: WHO CAN SHE TRUST!? I have no idea... |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 13, | abusecadman is behind the rebellion, of course? just a guess. |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 12, | abusewell of COURSE they knew... hahaha. sorry, but it was a little obvious. still, I think our heroine is doing quite well! |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 11, | abusegood chapter :) so much deception! |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 10, | abuse("obscurely spooked") ... really? I don't really... like your usage of 'obscure' in this context, though I'm no genius, so I might be wrong. I would have used 'oddly', 'strangely', or 'faintly' or something instead. good action scene! with 'manny'. (Flin ran his hands through his hair and grimaced eloquently.) I think this sentence could have done without the 'eloquently'... it just makes it sound weird. And it's a little unnecessary. don't mind me nitpicking.. it just helps me relax. I really do think your writing is wonderful. |
| Written 2008-03-24 ch 9, | abuseeep! can't wait to see what happens. haha you were at 100 reviews when you wrote this chapter? my how things snowballed from there, then! |