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| playing.with.scissors 2006-11-07 ch 1,  | abuseaww... talk about irony. that was so sad. good work. |
| Christina 2005-07-11 ch 1, anon. | abuseHey Ken, it's me again. Um, before I begin to comment you on this. I want to point out a mistake which I never really like to do this but it's just something really simple, maybe I'm wrong about it but I caught it and thought I would let you know. In this part :: “Oh, thanks,” Tom said. “He noticed that the man was looking almost uneasily at his swollen eyes and the tear-marks on his cheeks. Probably, he believed in the stereotype than men shouldn’t cry. Alright You notice the “ before the He ... I don't think that's suppose to be there?.. but if it is and if you want it there then alright, that's fine... lol anyways, wow... this is really well-written. I really like it. First, in the beginning. I didn't know what was going on. I don't know. I thought she broke up with him because that's the first thing that came to me but then when I noticed she died. I just felt really sad for him and then it just went all together well. I really liked reading it. I always love reading what you have written. Keep it up. Later |
| dollface and her cancer 2005-06-30 ch 1, | abuseStay away from passive voice, especially with a piece so strong as this one. Some parts are much more powerful than others; the irony is piercing, sorrowful. It's good. |
| aries-diva-JC 2005-06-30 ch 1, | abusevery sad but well-written... i liked the ending, it was very dramatic... however, i think it would have made the whole thing more emotional and all if u would have included more details about tom and jen's relationship... it would make them seem more real and the trajedy would be more sad for the reader... tom could have spent sum time reminiscing about the happy times he spent w/ jen, their first date, the moment he knew they were in love, etc... but over all, very good... keep up the good work... btw, if u have time, i would really appreciate comments on my work, especially 'once in a blue moon'... |
| brainymandy 2005-06-30 ch 1, | abuseI love the story! It's well developed and the characters seem real. You are really a very good author... I hope to read more of your work. Keep it up! |